Define Me

Chapter 1

We won, the battle is over.

Paris Anderson, the leader of the reestablishment is dead.

I am the new leader.

These facts seem strange as I recite them, I keep whispering the words over and over again, trying to let them settle and find a place to sleep but they don't seem real. I feel like everything is moving so fast and the earth is spinning too fast and I can't keep steady on my feet and I keep looking at these hands, these hands which have killed.

I should be happy. I am happy. But the ghosts of my past won't stay at bay and they keep creeping up on my when I'm not expecting them, twisting their way into my head. I have to remind myself over and over that what I did was right and everything he was and did was so disgustingly wrong and it's not even him which is troubling me - he deserved to die - but it scares me that I was able to kill someone, on purpose, no matter who he was.

I put my diary down, pages were starting to fall out and the cover was decayed with use, I didn't want to get a new diary I like trying to find small gaps between older words to engrave my thoughts. That diary was my friend, when I had no one. It was what kept me on the edge of sanity for those three years.

it feels like a lifetime ago, since then, I feel different too, I look back and wonder how I became who I am and laugh out at how bizarre it is that I, Juliette Ferrars, am the leader of anything, let alone the reestablishment.

I need a distraction, if I let my mind wonder too long it becomes like suffocating.

I bolted, clumsily of the bed, which is way too big for two people, but hey I guess my position does have its perks, and reached over to flick on the main lights. Suddenly, the room was enveloped in light which bounced and shattered off the shiny, glass panels which surrounded the room. Curiously, I peered over at the alarm clock, shit; as Adam would say; it was 11 o'clock, why would Aaron allow me to lie in this late!

I stormed through the doors and raced down the maze of hallways in a mist of fury. I reached the study room, slammed open the metal doors and was about to shout something, when I noticed it was not only Aaron in the room, everyone was sat in there, looking at first stunned but then their expressions turned friendly and they all greeted me with knowing smiles.

Kenji was the first to speek, 'oh hey there princess, so nice of you to join us', an annoying smile quirked up his mouth and I tried to retort with some smart remark but I ended up just standing there mouth bobbing open and closed like a fish. Kenji is still as blissful as always.

Thankfully, Aaron was there to save me by saying, 'shut up, kishimoto, Juliette, love, would you like to join us? We were just recapping everyone's jobs for today.' He pushed forward a seat and handed me the paper accompanied with a perfect smile that I will never get used to recieving. But, I already know everything which is on there so I stood up and proceeded to announce the bulletin.

It had been One Month and I am only just getting used to things, even so it's been the hardest and the best month of my life. It feels good to have everyone I love safe and I am finally feeling the clear, still sky which settles after the storm.