Reincarnation To Your Heart (Mirry)

Chapter 2

*Harry's POV*

"You know what I like best about Woodstock?"

"The music? Being high? The hot guys?", I reply. We are lying in the wet grass, my head on his chest.

"No, the freedom. Here, you can be who you want and be proud of it. You don't have to pretend to be someone else cause others can't accept you... Now at least I can lay down with a boy I like and not get judged for it. It's a nice feeling."

"I know what you mean."

"Did you ever date a guy freely Harry?"

"No... I didn't... I wish I could. That'd be nice."

"Maybe we should just stay here... In tiny Bethel. Making love until the sun dissolves into tiny balls of light, love and warmth."

The screaming brings me back to reality... I don't want it to... My memory of Michael is the thing that keeps me going for now and without it, I don't know how to continue doing what I am doing right now... Which is fighting against Apartheid and finding an original way to kill myself... If others talk like that, I would be freaked out. Luckily, it won't do much to me. I just hope to find Michael back...

But for now, I have a few wounded people to help after the manifestation we had this afternoon. We were bombed with tear gas grenades for giving our opinion. That is quite rude. I know it still happens in the future, but it's less... Here it's on a daily basis. It stings people's eyes... That is the least of our worries though, once the police gets to you, they beat you until you are immobile. If you keep resisting they take you to jail, only to break you more. It's inhuman, I will never understand it. Thankfully Nelson Mandela was released out of prison a few months ago, he is a true leader and an inspiration to all. When we are lost, he guides us and shows us the way we wanted to take all along. He also strives for peaceful solutions and proper education on the subject. I had the honour of meeting him and we took a selfie. I don't know why my phone still works, going from time to time, but if I wanted to I could have changed the past more than once and I would be the inventor of the selfie, no one else.

Time flies when you are helping wounded people. Not only because you are busy, also because you are getting satisfaction out of doing good, people feel grateful and you get to tell them you like helping them out. What loads of people don't understand is that I want nothing in return for my friendliness... All I want is to meet Michael again and tell him about how good I feel just helping people, about being selfless and making others happy. How I feel like my soul is pure and honest and light for the first time ever. I want to show him that spending time with him learned me so much. He showed me how to have respect for everything God created, like people, animals, nature, water... Another thing he taught me is that when you help others with no expectations of getting something out of it will make you feel better about yourself. Michael also told me to be true to myself and others, that way I will never feel weak cause I don't have to carry around guilt and lies.

That's where I need to go back to. To love, happiness, respect... Everything that makes me feel like I'm worth living and breathing... The next time I die, I need to find my way back to Michael. I know I sound like a love stuck teenager, but I'm not. Well, I am a teenager, I'm not love struck. It just calls being in love. Knowing that he is just as in love with me warms my heart, but it also fills me with fear.

"Harry, I know that it's a bit too soon to say this since we only know each other for five days, but I am madly in love with you. Never did I imagine falling for someone so fast, letting my walls down and taking that leap of faith. Yet, it's not frightening being with you. It's so easy, you make me stronger Harry in every single way. I've always been afraid of losing the one person I hold closest to my heart, but I know you won't leave me. Not unless you really have to. I really do love you Harry, you have my heart. Please, please, please take care of it. If you break it in a million pieces I don't know what I'll do. Living without you is not an option, you are my life. When you leave there will be nothing left to passionately live for."

That's what I did... I left him... I really didn't have a choice, I hope he knows that. Me dying was out of my hands... I just fear it won't matter. If he keeps true to his words he will kill himself. I can't have that.

"Michael, I promise you I won't leave you. Ever. Being with you is what keeps me grounded, it's what keeps me going. You help me fight my demons and my destiny. Yes, God has a plan for all of us, but I do believe I can change some of those things. With you by my side anything is possible! So the same goes for you, leave me and I will be empty. My life will be drained from all it's colour, there will be no meaning... I adore  you so much, you are the best thing to have ever happened to me. Leave me and I'll be dead. Even if I don't die, I will be dead on the inside. I know, it's all mellow and I sound like a romantic teen story... I don't care. It's all true."

With him in mind, I start walking into the sea. The stars are shining twice as bright, as if they are happy I'm going to chase Michael. I'm not scared. People say drowning is one of the most peaceful deaths. I don't know, it's the first time I tried to kill myself this way. Stabbing and shooting yourself gets boring after a while. Mos of the time I go for taking a lot of medication. That way I fall in a deep sleep, which gives me a few hours with Michael before I wake up. Today I want something different. The water is so pretty, even in the moonlight it is bright blue. Sand fights it way through my toes and softly tickles them as if they are wishing me good luck. My clothes are clinging to my body, pulling me under. I submit to their wish and let myself drop in the water. The waves are rolling over me, keeping me down. At first panic fills my entire body, but it subsides once I see Michael with me. He smiles at me and nods his head. I close my eyes and give in to him. 

The dedication goes to a very special girl! She is epicly amazing and perfect in her own way.