Gone in the Night

1

It was a warm summer night and all was calm in the ocean. I had decided to take a late night swim to clear my mind. I had a lot on my mind lately and it was then that I realized that I wasn't truly happy. In fact I haven't been happy in quite a while. I had my family and normally that would be enough for anyone but I wanted to go out and explore the world. I've only ever explored the world through the ocean. I also set out to find the one thing I have wanted for a very long time-true love. I had seen it a few times and knew more than anything that was how I wanted to feel about someone. I wanted to love and care about someone so deeply that I would do anything for that person. I wanted to go on real dates, hold deep conversations, and take long romantic strolls through the park at night. There is only one thing holding me back from that. I put my head above water and looked out at the dry land. Oh how beautiful it looked from where I was. 

I decided I needed to talk to someone about how I feel. The one person that every girl goes to when they have something on their mind-their mother. 

I swam back home to talk to my mom about all of this. It was a huge decision and not one to take lightly. I have never really been away from home. At least not like this. The ocean is such a wondrous beauty to behold and I'm lucky enough to live among it.

Our home was through an underwater cave that led to a cave on top of the ocean. We have lived here with our pod for as long as I can remember. We have never been discovered by humans. As far as they know merfolk are just a folklore like vampires and werewolves. 

I swam up through the cave and decided to sit up on the edge of the moonlight pool. It was such a beautiful night tonight. The moon shined bright over the ocean and the stars twinkled so bright. 

My mom swam over to me and sat down beside of me. She could sense something was wrong. I suppose that was just motherly instincts.

"Hey sweetheart, what's the matter?" she asked me.

"It's nothing mom." I said to her. I was really nervous to tell her how I really feel because I didn't know what she would say or how she would react. I continued "I've just been thinking about how unhappy I am here. I know I should be happy that I have my wonderful family but I still feel like a part of me is missing. I want to go out and explore the world and not just from the ocean. I want to know how it feels to have legs and be able to walk on land. I want to know how it feels to go out on dates, take walks at night through the park, and sit in front of a fire while roasting marshmallows and do other things that humans do."

After a long pause she said to me "I can understand where you are coming from but if it's love that you want you can find that right here. There are plenty of mermen that would be lucky enough to have you. You don't have to leave our kind to go seek love in a foreign place. If it's exploring you want we can swim and explore new sea together. There are plenty of things we can do here. This is where you belong."

Some part of me knew that she wouldn't quite understand where I'm coming from. To her it may seem as if I'm turning my back on who I am and our pod but that's the farthest from what I'm doing. I want to explore another side of me. I am a mermaid. Half human, half fish. I already know about the ocean side of me. I want to get to know the human side of me as well. 

I had a lot to think about. Should I just listen to my mom and go against my heart or should I go with my heart and against my mom? The decision didn't seem like a fair one to make because it would hurt someone in the process. Whether that was me or her.

I decided to take the night to think it over and really listen to what my mother was telling me. After all, mothers seem to know best. 

The next morning my decision was made. I had decided to follow my heart even though that was not what my mother wanted. I knew I had to tell her but feared that she wouldn't like what she had to hear. When you get a certain age you have to make decisions for yourself whether they are right or they are wrong. I would not know what my life had in store for me if I didn't listen to myself and do what made me happy. I might however regret never finding out. I would never be happy if I had to live my life by what my mother wanted. I was going to go tell my mother what my plans were as I had planned on leaving this evening. 

I swam back to our cove to talk to my mom. I had a small uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I suppose that was just fear as well as sadness. Even though I wanted to go on land and explore the world outside of the ocean I knew I would miss my life the way it is now. I would miss my pod but more than anything I would miss my mother. I had always been so close to her and I fear this might even be enough to break us apart.

I saw my mom sitting on the moonlight pool as I swam up and sat beside of her.

"Mom, I have something to tell you. I'm not sure whether you will like what I have to say or not but I figured it was best to let you know instead of just leaving. I have planned on leaving tonight to follow my heart. I know it is against what you want for me and I want you to know that I love and respect you more than you will ever know but, I have to do this for myself. I know that I would regret not doing this." I explained to her.

"Marina, I understand. I want you to be happy. I hope you truly know whether or not this is what you want. I don't want you to make a mistake. I hope you will not leave and abandon your pod and most importantly...me." she responded.

"I would never do that mom. I will come back. I will always come back. After all this is my home. This is part of who I am." I could see a sense of relief come to her face. "I will come back very often to visit. I promise you that." I told her.

She held me in her arms as tears streamed down her face. I could see that she was sad. This was going to be even harder than I thought.

"I love you" she told me.

"I love you too" I answered. 

It was time to start my journey. I swam through the long underwater tunnel that led to the big wide ocean. I looked around as I was swimming to admire the beauty in the ocean. There were fish of all colors and sizes swimming around me and I was amazed at how beautiful my home truly was. I put my head above water to see how far I needed to swim to get to dry land. 

Finally I was at the edge of the ocean where it meets the warm beige sand. I turned around to look at the ocean behind me. This was it. I pulled myself up on the edge of the beach. Right before my eyes I saw my pink fins turn into legs. I tried standing up for the first time in my life. I ended up falling back down. This was harder than I thought. I felt like a baby calf trying to stand up for it's first time after birth. After a few tries I finally stood up on my own two legs although I still felt unsteady. This is where it gets hard. I now had to try to walk on these legs. 

I took each step slowly putting one foot in front of the other. In a matter of minutes I felt like I had accomplished this whole legs and walking thing. The only other problem was that I realized I was now standing on the beach -naked. Obviously I hadn't thought this through quite clearly. I needed clothes but I had no idea where to get them. I walked down the beach a little piece where I found a summer dress swaying on a clothes line in the warm night wind. I looked around me and didn't see a person in sight so I decided to get this to put on. I needed something to wear and this was all I could find at the moment. I think I could get use to this being a human thing.