ZAWADI'S JOURNEY TO SELF IDENTITY

TUES', DAY

(I call this column tues', day because though it should mean Tuesday which is actually among the known days in our calendars, not even i myself understand what it means. And that is exactly how i felt about this day)

My Tuesday on this tenth month of 2017 started at an unusually low pace. The mood from the start of it all was just so abnormal. I am usually a keen person when it comes to monitoring how my day begins. This i do by observing my moods in the morning when i wake up. Checking on to the weather and just how i seem to respond to things that day.

Now on this particular Tuesday i woke up a bit late which is off, that is not me, and my still sleepy and heavy eyes were met by the cruel rays of light from the sun. The light seem to have had its way in because someone in the house whom at the moment i thought was plotting to kill me by  exposing me  to such a harsh exposure. I mean didn't he suppose it was my big bro or she suppose it was my sis in law know that sunlight can cause ailments? Has he or she never had of skin cancer and its cause?

The bitter thoughts criss crossed my head within a spur of micro second because before even the rays could have a proper landing i had already rolled myself to face the other direction away from the ray's origin and covered my head with my today's abnormally cozy  blanket. Yes it is always warm but not as warm as it was today. Usually it kinda only beg  me to extend my sleep a little bit but today it demanded for the whole day.

"This is weird you need to get up"

I heard my head telling me but my whole other parts seemed to very much support my blanket as they spoke in contrast with my head. My legs must have decided to prove a point to me of just how much i needed not to wake up. One leg found its way out of the blanket and i swear i almost screamed when i felt the cold outside.
"Damn is someone trying to end my life today?"

I again found myself insinuating. For a moment it felt as if my legs were dipped in a refrigerator.  The cold that it got pieced so deep finding its way into my heart where i actually felt. 

As i kept filling my head with the crazy thoughts i was almost met by a cardiac arrest when my brother called me to wake up. I mean his voice was so mean and uncaring. The interpretation of it all was that he hated me and didn't give a damn about what i was feeling at the moment or my life in general.  I mean shouldn't a caring big bro wake up his little bro with some love?

I forced my self off bed but after along struggle with my contrasting system. The weather seemed so chill, had it rained the previous night?  I couldn't get a precise answer at the moment as all i could hear was my brother's harsh voice calling and throwing missile at me.

"Hey do you think we have the whole day here, or have you in a way made me your waiter?"

His monstrous voice continued torturing my hears, at that very moment i concluded that i was unloved by him. We were going job hunting.

A beautiful day is identified early in the morning. But to me this Tuesday was just so off the Beautiful list. In fact i couldn't get myself to get what it was, a day or a mistake for a day. All the signs seemed to be so much
against it. At this moment it just dawned to me that i was in for a tough ride. Days beginning like this should never come, instead they should just remain hidden from the face of the earth because they just end up spoiling everything. I have to admit that i always fear such days as this.

And so my Tuesday begun;slow, boring, unpromising and with lots of bad lack.. If it continued like these it would be so bad....