A Death in the Family

Chapter 2

Thirteen-year-old Connor kicked his closet door, which only resulted in a throbbing toe and an expletive he hoped his father downstairs didn't hear.

His mother didn't mind if he cursed so much, she figured it was no worse than what he had picked up at school or on TV. As long as he didn't end up arrested or in jail she figured he would figure it out sooner or later what benefited him and what didn't.

But his mother wasn't here anymore.

Connor felt like any sort of freedom had been taken from him, the freedom to just be.

He had like that. His father wasn't strict, but he was definitely more of a realist and had the opinion life would bite you in the butt sooner rather than later if you made moves that affected people negatively... Or something like that.

Connor didn't care (or maybe he did) that the boys at school had messed him up  because they kept saying his mother killed herself, which he knew wasn't true, it couldn't be. At some point in the past week he had gotten a fight which was why his father was going to speak to the principal tomorrow and he still had to serve a week worth of in-school suspension.

He couldn't look at his mother's things anymore, his father hadn't bothered to pack them away yet though he had started cleaning out her closet-slowly and packing boxes for the attic. At the moment a lot of her art supplies were still in the spare room, which she had used as a studio. Her easel was still there with an unfinished piece on it... as if she had only left and would finish it later.

Connor and Henry didn't talk that much nowadays it's not like they could talk about how they felt with each other anyway. His older brother was more closed off than he was, Henry was either barricaded in his room, blasting the latest alternative rock or rap music or out with friends. Connor knew this was another thing his father wasn't happy about even though he never said much about it. Connor knew they had argued about it particularly on the weekends.

Connor finally flopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. The house seemed too quiet, too empty without his mother there. The last time he had seen her had been several weeks ago before he had left for school and that seemed like an eternity ago.

The weekend passed uneventfully and before he knew it Connor was heading back to school in some resemblance of a routine sometime before his father headed off to work and would be going to speak to the principal later that afternoon.

He wasn't looking forward to that.

To be honest, Connor wasn't really looking forward to much of anything there wasn't that much to look forward to--at least not anymore.

The school day passed in a blur and all too quickly it was time for his meeting with the principal and his father.

Connor had spent most of his time in the principal's office as of late since he had been suspended for the fight. The desk next to the counselor's office had become his little corner of the world, but he was used to it by now.

Mr. Sturgis was about his father's age a thin wiry man that gave the impression under his suit and tie that he was bigger than he was. Connor always thought he looked like he had stuffed two pillows under his suit at all times though that wasn't the case.

When Connor entered the office his father was already sitting in a chair across from Mr. Sturgis, he looked tired and concerned, but not angry, Connor noted.

"Connor, sit down, please." Mr. Sturgis said quietly. After Connor had taken a seat next to his father the principal sat down and regarded them both calmly but with a stern expression which he finally focused on Connor. The expression made Connor feel very small, but he didn't say anything.

"Connor, first of all, you're not in trouble. Aside from the incident last week, I think we all wish to put this behind us. I am only concerned for your well-being here at school and how that will affect your peers. If there's anything you ever need to talk to me or the counselor about don't hesitate.

Connor finally spoke though his answer was garbled and short.

"Yes sir."

Mr. Sturgis finally turned to Mr. Dooley.

"I understand you recently lost your wife and the cause is still under investigation?"

"That's correct." His father answered. "It seems Connor is taking it harder than Henry is, but perhaps they are dealing with it each in their own way."

The principal nodded, looking thoughtful.

"Perhaps if Connor consults with a counselor for a while that may be a good idea. Maybe it will help your other son and you as well."

His father nodded again.

"Yes, our pastor offered services as well. I'm considering it, though it's hard to figure out what insurance will cover at this point being a one income household now."

Mr. Sturgis nodded, and he looked concerned again.

"What do you think about this, Connor?" The principal asked.

"I think what happened to my mom is no one's business but ours!" He responded flatly.

"Maybe so." Mr. Sturgis replied smoothly. "If someone could help your family understand what you're going through I think that will help all of you and perhaps that will improve your experience at school. The students haven't been very nice to you have they?" Mr. Sturgis asked.

"No." Connor mumbled. "Everyone thinks mom killed herself."

"People are trying to prove that isn't true." Mr. Sturgis replied.

"What they taking their sweet time about it!" Connor mumbled again. He was trying not to shout though he wanted to scream. He had been wanting to scream since he had heard his mother was dead.

"The investigators talk to me again last week." Mr. Dooley replied, "They're trying to cover all their bases I think."

"Why didn't you tell me." Connor looked at his father.

"It was nothing important son. There's no new information."

"What? They think you did it now?" Connor's voice was sharp again before he remembered the principal was still in the room and he fell silent again.

"We'll talk about this when we get home," Mr. Dooley replied firmly, "there's no point in wasting Mr. Sturgis' time."

Father and son left school without saying much. Henry Dooley would be home soon and it would be another long evening.

Once his sons were otherwise occupied later that evening (either with activities of their own making or with homework) Steve Dooley had some much needed time to himself, being a single father was much harder than he had ever anticipated, he had always had sympathy for anyone who was a single parent, but parenting two teenagers who were still dealing with their own grief while dealing with his own was proving to be a formidable task. He seriously was considering calling a counselor because he was at his wits end.

Sighing, he made himself comfortable and turned on the 6 o'clock news. He knew he shared the same struggles as his sons he had just had more time and maturity to deal with his reaction. Henry's partying and Connor's fighting weren't the best reactions to grief, but they were reactions however misguided or unhealthy. At least Henry's music didn't hurt anyone... except maybe people's ears. Steve thought.