Royal Slip

Badass Human Killing TV Robot

"The Royal Scientist is here for you."

Mettablook, seventeen year old pink ghost, dropped his diary on the desk and floated out through his bedroom door. It was his birthday, and so far it had been awesome. His adoptive guardian, King Asgore, had given him a high quality studio camera. He hadn't had a chance to try it out yet, though.

He looked at Asgore. "The what now?" Mettablook wasn't scientific. Or an interest to science. He was a fricken ghost, the most useless monster. He couldn't even fight, being incorporeal and all.

Plus he didn't even know who the current Royal Scientist was, it kept changing.

"You know, the one dragon... lizard... whatever... girl?"

Mettablook made a very slight laugh. He remembered her. He wasn't sure either what the Royal Scientist was supposed to be. Her whole species was super confusing.

"Right, her... Why's she here for me?" He literally couldn't think of a single reason.

"Dunno," Asgore shrugged, albeit stiffly. "Something about making you into a human killing machine."

"A human killing-" Mettablook stared at the large fluffy king. "But, Your Majesty, there aren't even any humans to kill!"

Asgore didn't respond, due to the fact that at that moment, both of their attentions were caught by a thumping at the door.

Mettablook thought it sounded rather like somebody trying and failing to kick open the door. He waited for whoever it was to realize they were too weak and open the door like a normal corporeal.

After about thirty seconds the door opened to reveal the aforementioned dragon-lizard-whatever girl.

Mettablook tilted his head, holding in a laugh. "Were you trying to kick down the door?" One look at her and he could tell she was far too physically weak to kick down ANY door. At all. She was short, shaky, and yellow. "Not going to happen for you, sweetheart."

"W-Well, it sure as h-hell isn't happening for y-you, either!" The short Royal Scientist glared at the pink ghost. Mettablook smirked. He'd never TRIED. He was well aware of the fact that he was incorporeal.

He took note of the fact that she had a stutter and started mentally compiling a list of clever insults based on that fact. Just in case.

"P-Please tell me this isn't him..." The Scientist looked to the king.

"This is him."

"You'd better believe it, darrrling~!" Mettablook laughed.

"Unfortunately." Asgore's voice and expression betrayed no emotion. Mettablook inwardly flinched, Asgore's comment hurt deeply. Asgore was the only person he cared about impressing.

The Royal Scientist audibly sighed. Great, that meant Mettablook had already managed to piss her off! Everything had a nice side.

Oh wait. There was something he had to ask the king still. "Your Majesty, you may recall, before we were... interrupted, I said there aren't any humans to kill! So why do I need to become a human killing machine?"

Mettablook paused. "Besides... I thought you were going to let me become the new Royal Broadcaster!"

"Why not both?" There was the slightest hint of a smile- if not in Asgore's face, his voice.

"Y... You mean... I'm going to be a badass human killing TV robot?!" Mettablook's mind whirled with excitement, Asgore's remark forgotten.

"You could call it that."

"This is going to be awesome!" He looked at the Royal Scientist again. Or as he now liked to think of her, his ticket to power. "Can I help design my body?"

"Y-You're going to have to..." Mettablook took immense satisfaction in the fact that she didn't look excited at the prospect.

"Good, 'cause I have a great idea," Mettablook said. "We make me all insectile, like, four eyes, and four arms, and really long legs."

"That would make you stand out too much," the king looked down at him. "You'll need to stand out a little, but you also need to kill any human that falls down."

Mettablook opened and closed his mouth. Asgore's word was final. Ah, well...

"P-Plus that would look really st-stupid!"

Mettablook shot the Scientist a glare. "It would look TOTALLY BADASS, but whatever. When can we start?"

The Royal Scientist glanced at Asgore. "That d-depends on what the king wants and how f-fast he wants it..."

"You have one year exactly. He is to receive the body on his eighteenth birthday."

Mettablook looked at Asgore, disappointment rushing through him. "That long? King Asgore, c'mon, I can't wait that long!"

"That's the deadline. Earlier is fine too. No later."

Mettablook sighed. It couldn't be helped. They'd just have to finish it as fast as possible...

"What happens if it's l-later?" The Scientist sounded rather apprehensive.

Mettablook thought she'd probably get replaced.

"Replacements are always an option."

Yup, typical Asgore.

"A-And why does it have to be on h-his birthday?"

Mettablook sighed, rolled his eyes at her, and said, as impatiently as possible, "Ever heard of a BIRTHDAY PRESENT?" C'mon, shorty, it was obvious...

"A wonderful gift! Almost as wonderful as the sparring session I intend to have with it."

Mettablook did not have very fond memories of the last sparring session. That was when they'd learned that ghosts were essentially useless in battle. Mettablook didn't have very strong magic, either. So he was defenseless, other than his knife.

But if he was going to be corporeal...

"King Asgore, am I going to actually learn how to fight?"

"Of course."

Mettablook couldn't wait for that. Finally, his childhood dreams would be realized! To be strong, and to act in some way.

Mettablook considered everything about this to have been discussed. His mind turned to a more immediate interest of his.

"Your Majesty, are we having birthday cake?"

"Our bakers are already on it."

Mettablook grinned. 

The Royal Scientist raised a clawed hand. "U-Um, can I g-go now?"

Asgore nodded. "You're dismissed."

The Scientist slammed the door behind her, muttering about dickish ghosts. Ha.

"I'm going to have fun with her," said Mettablook.

And he meant it. If Mettablook had his way, she was going to really hate him.