One Note

Dear Life

Dear Life,

           Why can't I feel happy like the others. Everyday, I'm always pressured, seeing them live the high life of luxury, while I'm down here, crying alone in my bed typing this to you. My parents here don't even understand. No matter how many times I tell them about school, they always force me to go. The sky is gray, and the atmosphere there is blue, why go anyways? The bullies out there always target my one friend, and I share the same punishment as well. Right now, here I am, with a bunch of scars and cuts on my wrist, covered by a bracelet. I can't talk to them anymore, I get made fun out of for my grades, I just fail, I just succeed. I STILL GET THE SAME Punishment. Have I swallowed up flames from matches? Tried. Have I bought a thousand dollar champaign to pour it down the drain? Yes.. Have I coughed out blood? Sometimes.. I just don't understand this can happen. I am made fun of for my looks, I don't get to go to parties, forced to do others homework, always being blamed. Got pranked? Was taken advantage? Yes. Sometimes, I really wonder why I keep going through this hell of an ass's bullshit. My friend already drugged herself and is somewhere else now. Probably getting the hapiness she needs. What about me? My dog is that one motivation, but when can someone kill me? Does anybody have that special bullet to shoot me through the head?? My virtual cousin still supports me but, it isn't enough. Do I have that distorted screaming in my soul? Yes. That one that always begs people to kill me? Yes... Have I tried to hang myself? Might. Tries poisoning one self? Want to. Where is the peace, I can't even live out there properly. All those prideful people, all those fights, all of the innocent blood out there spilled on the walls of shame.. I should just end my life here, right now, but.. What about my family and friends..? They don't understand, all my friends believe in rumors about me.. The only one I live for is my dog.. Go, you Don't need to read this.

I want to go and live life somewhere else out there.. Is there someone out there who actually cares.. You know, I'm horrible at writing letters, like how I am at everything. I'll be going my way soon, so if anyone reads this, just ignore my depressing and edgy feelings.. I am fine after all.. Right?