won't you stay mine~

2

It isn't fair, to love someone when they don't want you anymore. But knowing how they are, they won't leave you, so they hurt themselves more than they'd ever hurt you. I know this is what's happening and as hurt and broken over it I am, id rather let you go then keep you locked in like a bird in a cage. When you tomorrow morning comes I'll tell you how I feel I'll cherish this last night with you and hold you so tight. But while you're still gone for the day I'll try and keep my thoughts from straying to how I feel, for your feelings come first always to me... and all this thinking is leading me to fully realize, it's not healthy for us to be together.

When you arrived home, you had the biggest smile... until you came into the house to be with me, for what you didn't know would be the last time. When you saw me sitting on the couch reading, I noticed your smile drop. I adored that smile so much, but I knew there was only one way to make it etched to your face like it use to be. I looked into your eyes almost regretting the choice I was making. You offered me a fake smile, to which I responded with a similar one. You must not think I know about how you feel, it's not a secret at all. I looked you up and down from my spot on the couch, wanting to call you to come sit with me.

I refrained knowing soon enough I'll be without you and have to be use to the emptiness in the presence next to me. You brought yourself to sit on the sofa across from me, watching me, analyzing my every movement. I chanted in my head over and over ''you want them to be happier, this is for them, you'll find someone soon enough, let them be happy.'' it didn't help much, but imagining your smile gave me the strength to do it. Checking the time I noticed it was time to eat dinner, you must've too because your voice came out in a hushed whisper. "babe... what's gonna be for dinner?" hearing your voice strain at the nickname, I felt my heart squeeze in my chest. I offered the idea of just ordering a pizza, remembering it was one of your favorites.

After eating in silence, you went to take a shower, leaving me alone in a cold bed that'll soon be a lonely place for just me. I made your side of the bed smiling leaving a gentle kiss where you'll lay your head tonight. I gently laid myself down in the bed hearing the shower shut off and hear approaching footsteps, quickly shutting my eyes. You laid yourself down next to me, calling my name softly.  I didn't reply, hoping you'd believe I was asleep. You deep sighed, muttering something I strained my ears to hear. "I'm sorry to prolong this love, I just can't do this anymore, but I'll stay just to see your smile.'' You gently laid an arm around my waist, I felt my heart shake, tears welling up in my eyes. Waiting till' i heard your quiet snores to let my tears fall. 

I fell asleep that night, in the arms of someone who doesn't even love me anymore, with tears seeping down my cheeks. When I awoke, you were still sleeping. Giving your face a quick once over, I lifted myself from the bed, preparing myself to tell you to leave so you can smile truly and not fake it. I went to the kitchen making some coffee before sitting at the table, waiting for you to wake up. Hearing you make your way down the steps, I closed my eyes praying I was strong enough to do this. When you walked into the kitchen you shot me a soft smile, fake... it's always fake nowadays... I shook my head pointing to the seat across from me.

Giving me an odd look, I shushed you. "Look... this isn't fair" I started off, feeling my heart crash into my stomach making me feel sick. "you're not happy, don't you see how well I know you? You're faking it, what happened to the smile that use to brighten my day?" You swallowed harshly looking down. "If leaving me means you'll be happier then go, leave... just please, smile for me,'' I continued now on the verge of tears, promising myself I wouldn't cry. "But-"I cut you off "There's no buts here, you deserve to be happy here too, so please go, don't make it any harder than it already is." You stood giving me a saddened look. "I don't want to lose you tho, you mean so much to me still...'' I smiled, ignoring the tears in my eyes. "Then let's continue being friends?" you nodded happily, walking towards the door. "Just go, for now, I'll pack your things to make it easier, I'll text you when you can come and get them." You nodded wordlessly leaving.

Once I heard your car drive off I stood falling to my knees. Tears fell from my eyes, I can't believe I finally did it... this pain, it's too much to swallow. But at least now.... you can be happy.