Fatherless Child

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Jayceon -

I was so full of rage . That fucker left me and my momma and we had to deal with my abusive ass step father and now she was so easily letting his ass come back. "Ma!" I yelled as I stormed in the kitchen.

"Boy what do you want?" She asked as she placed the banana pudding on the kitchen counter.

"You letting that bitch ass Nigga come in here and he left us! He left us broke! Hungry! All them damn times he told me he was coming and never came! And you gone let this nigga come in here!"

"I don't know who you think you're talking too but you're in my house and I invite whoever I want in my house, You're not going to disrespect me, now I've left that hurt go, it's been years Me and your father has talked everything out and I'm ready to forgive him despite everything that's occurred, you're grown now get over it!" She yelled.

I knocked over the chair storming out the back door. "Jayceon! Jayceon!" Amber yelled after me ignoring her I hopped in my car driving off. I didn't know where the hell I was going but I had to get out of there in a hurry before I fucked some shit up.

*******

Amber -

I had never seen Jayceon this upset before. Yes he's been angry before but not like that, he looked like he would kill somebody if he could. Sighing I grabbed my coat, already knowing where he was going. "Let me borrow your keys real quick," I said to Ariel. She didn't even reject she reached in her purse and grabbed them handing them to me.

"You want me to go with you?"

"No I'm good," I said as I grabbed my phone and left. Getting in Ariel's car I drove off to me and Jayceon's spot. It was a quiet spot downtown close to the beach . I saw him leaning against his car smoking a blunt. I knew him all too well. Getting out of the car I walked up to him. He saw me coming and put his blunt out. He had music playing from his phone. I sat my purse on top the hood of his car as I leaned up against him. He wrapped his arms around me, and I laid my head on his chest.

"You need to stop smoking that stuff," I said kissing his cheek as he put his blunt out. He looked at me and I looked at him.

"I'm trying to stop but it's hard honestly," He said looking down at me as he played with my hair.

"You okay?" I asked him as I played with his beard.

"Yea I just had to calm down for a minute," he responded.

"Baby I know you're upset, but you have to let it go, my daddy is gone I will never seen him again but you have an opportunity to make it right with him. Harlem may want to get to know his grandfather our kids in the future they would want to know him, you have so much more to think about sweetheart. I get it he left and you and your mom went through a lot. He should of been there but he wasn't babe, you can't live you life holding grudges, hear him out okay, talk to him, get to know him. Forgive him. Baby if you can't do it for yourself do it for me, do it for Harlem, and the kids that we plan on having, honey I don't want you to have bitterness in her heart, I want you to let this go and be genuinely happy, Okay, can you please do this for me?" I asked him.

He sighed while shaking his head.

"Please babe," I said to him.

"Shit ain't gone be easy,"

"I know babe I know it's not, but I promise I'm going to be right here with you,"

"You promise?" He asked me.

"Of course always and forever baby,"

*****

Jayceon after smoking another blunt we went back to the house everybody was preparing to sit down for dinner. While in the kitchen I pulled mama to the side to apologize.

"I'm sorry mama for spazzing out on you I ain't mean it," I said as I stood before her with my head down.

"It's alright, I understand why you were upset, but the next time you come dashing in here raising your voice I will hurt you do you hear me?" She said making me chuckle.

"Yes ma'am," I said we went in the dining room to sit down to eat. After praying for the food everybody dug in. Amber was being a bug picking food off my plate. I glared at her and she chuckled.

It was awkward sitting at the table trying to hold up conversations especially since the nigga who called himself my father kept interrupting everybody. A couple times I got mad, Amber rubbed my thigh gently I swear she knew who to calm me down.

I held her hand when my moms and dad was talking. We became distant from the table when we started texting each other.

"So Jayceon What have been you been doing with yourself despite having a beautiful woman by your side and handsome son?" The old man asked.

I put my phone down and sighed I didn't really want him talking to me. Looking at Amber she looked at me and I gripped her thigh.

"Nothing much man just working, I own part of a club, that's it just taking care of my family man," I replied not wanting to give him too much. He nodded his head and finished eating his food.

Jason sent me the finished song, and I sent it to Amber. "When you get a chance babe listen to to it okay," I whispered. She nodded her head before stealing my peach cobbler. Shaking my head I pinched her as she laughed.

After dinner I was in the kitchen washing dishes, as Amber washed them. Mommy father walked in the kitchen and he smiled at Amber. "Baby I'm going to go check on Harlem okay," she said before grabbing me and pulling me down. I saw him standing there and rolled my eyes. Why didn't he understand that I didn't want to be bothered?

"Behave," She said before we kissed.
She left out and I continued to washing the dishes.

"Son can we-"

"I'm not your son," I said cutting him off.

"Well your mother told me otherwise thirty years ago," he laughed nervously.

"Man what you want from me?" I asked growing irritated.

"I'm trying to apologize son," he said desperately.

"I don't wanna hear it," I said before trying to walk out. Before I could leave he grabbed my chest.

"Listen I know you're upset you have every right to be, I didn't abandon you or your mother, if you want the truth ask her. I will say this, I'm dying because of reckless choices I made in my life, I didn't listen to my old man coming up, you starting your own family, you got a son, raise him right, teach him the right way, that's all I ask of you too many young men are dying because of no guidance no direction, I apologize for not fighting and not trying to stay in your life son, I hope you don't keep that hatred in your heart forever, here's my direct line, when you're ready to talk I'm always available," he said as he handed a small piece of paper right before leaving.

I don't know why but I broke down. I felt somebody rubbing my back, when I looked up I saw it was my momma. I looked in her eyes, "I don't wanna know ma, whatever happened between you and him it happened, I don't care anymore," I said before leaving and heading upstairs. I had to get out of this damn house before I lost my fucking mind.

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