I can't help but feel guilty about everything. Like, epic, serious guilt because none of this is like me. To have kissed another girls' boyfriend, multiple times, is so out of character to me. Tanner doesn't seem affected though, he doesn't refuse when Monica comes over when I'm about to leave, and so I'm usually out of here a bit early. I don't like run-ins with her, they're relatively awkward now, since the rumors are only heating up as Tanner and I continue to be spotted in the same area or to be with eachother. I'm sure she's asked him by now, and I'm sure he brushed it off. He was reluctant of doing anything about either of us. Even I can't read him these days, he's being really difficult about the whole thing.
One minute he'd have his arm around my shoulders while we're watching a movie, and the next kissing Monica with that same comfort. And he still won't go against Quincy to dump her, I just know that I'm not going to date him if he's still technically dating another girl. Making him cheat is enough, I can't handle dating someone who's continually active with that other girl. I'm better than that and honestly, so is Tanner.
He invited me over today to go swimming and I'm just getting here, changing into my suit once I got in. Thankfully, it's just me and him today and maybe that'll be enough. Or I could distance myself, not show interest, which will be hard enough, but I'd also have to let him go back to what Quincy wants, and that's the last thing I want. I need him to keep resisting him, doing the opposite of what he wants and maybe, who knows, he'll start doing things by his own accord and not just through Quincy's mind first.
I walk from the bathroom, glancing out of the kitchen window for a moment at the expansion of the pool yard outside. His backyard is huge and includes one heck of a pool complete with a hottub near the patio and a diving board for the rectangle shaped pool. Suddenly, two hands wrap around my waist and I feel a body press gently against mine and I smile knowingly to myself.
"Ready?" Tanner's voice comes at my neck, his lips pressing down and kissing it once. The skin around the area tingles with electricity.
I roll my head back and let my eyes close. "Mmmm, sure."
He moves his hands to grab my waist, twisting me up and onto the counter in front of him. He seems to always look good, even now, in just a light blue bathingsuit that matches his eyes perfectly. It's almost like he's glowing, which wouldn't be such a surprise with his muscle-set.
"You look great," I say, grinning down at him as I lace my fingers through his messy hair. His mouth is curled in that signature crooked smile, perfectly tilted up at me, both of his hands resting on my knees.
"So do you," He says, raising up and pecking my lips, which leads onto several more. I keep feeling like my mind is shouting to not do it, that I can't kiss him and that that's not the right thing to do. But I fall into it anyway because it just feels right, despite my instinct. He tends to be my temptation, no matter what, and I keep dosing in on that sin because it's fun. Because I like it even though I know it's wrong. But that's usually how it goes, right?
The kiss is just beginning to heat up when I feel his hands twitching up to my thighs, pulling me toward him. I wrap my arms straight back from his neck for assurance and relax. His lips move against mine slowly but passionately, and I wonder if this is how he kisses Monica. If this isn't special, and that it's only special to me.
A few seconds later, the outside air hits my skin, but when I try to come up, Tanner's lips match mine once more, forcing me back into my fuzzy reality he tends to create. The sensation is altogether incredible but it definitely makes you extremely lightheadedly bubbly.
"Hold your breath," He whispers against my lips, barely audible. I don't have time to see what he means by it, because the next second is spent in pure adrenaline induced terror. I scream momentarily but I manage to get my wits about me to follow his directions to hold my breath, thankfully.
