The Real World - Kongpop/Arthit

Happy!

Mae and Por,

As you can tell I have left the house in the middle of the night, taken half the things in my room with me and have not given you much details as to why.

For the past 8 years, since I finished High school you have left me to my own devices therefore I never got to see you as much as parents should see their kids. I wanted to tell you how hurt and angry I had become over time but then I realized that is not worth bringing up issues that happened a long time ago.

I sat at the dinner table last night, I felt like an outsider, trying to make conversation with strangers. I wanted to be able to tell my parents about my life that I'm leading, so instead I chose to tell you this way. This seems very in personal but I need to make this transition less painful for me as possible.

Being your son I want to be able to make you proud, however, no matter what I have done it does not seem to be enough.

I entered Engineering, as I knew that it was something I wanted to do and make a career with. I made friends, studied hard and became the head hazer for the system, guiding my juniors and preparing them to build friendship that could last for the rest of their time there and beyond.

In the process, I fell in love.

Living without them now seems impossible. When they are not with me I miss their smile, the way they laugh and even the teasing but I would not change them one bit. They make me feel that I can do anything. Building my strength up. Being the Pillar that holds me up. I wanted to tell you how this person makes me feel about society and myself. In doing so, they have taught me that not everybody is going to accept you for what decisions you make or the people you meet but it teaches me that everybody deserves to be loved by someone.

For some time I have been trying to define my relationship with him, trying to give a label but all that is different is that I love this man.

I'm not gay, I just love this one man that can make feel like I'm the only one in his life.

I just love my N'Kongpop because that's all he is.

N'Kongpop is such a patient person with me and other people.

He entered into my life in a dramatic way, standing in front of me in a room full of juniors that he was going to make me his wife. I hated him on sight. I put him through pledges that would make a person run the opposite direction, but he persisted and confessed his attraction towards me. Of course, I was so reluctant at first, I was so confused and alarmed but accepting him 4 years ago was one of the best things I ever did.

I wanted to tell you in person because I did not want to be with him and still have this big secret hanging over my head.

For this new chapter in my life I wanted to be able to be open and I really want my parents to be a part of it and celebrate it with me.

Once N'Kongpop graduates at the end of the month, we are both spending some time at his parents and then moving into our own space between both of our works.

I cannot force you but if you want to talk to me, you can call me at any time of the day.

Oon

Arthit looked at his watch '4.51am'

He took his key from his back pocket; he crept in closing the door behind him. He stopped and stared at the lump in the bed, Kongpop's hair was peeking out of the duvet. He took his trousers and shirt off and got into the bed.

Kongpop stirred moving his left arm and displayed it out. "P'Art" he mumbled.

"Mm," Arthit moved the cover over his legs and leant his head on his bicep, and let out a sigh.