Pain and Love [Zarry]

Chapter 1

"Lads! I have news! I'm planning on proposing to Perrie!" That's when my world just fell. 

There is nothing more I could do. He's sealing the deal. I couldn't do anything to win his heart anymore. I should have known it wouldn't work. He's as straight as a pole! Why should he fall for a faggot like me? I'm just stupid, useless, unimportant me. 

Tears fell and fell as a seemingly never-ending waterfall down my cheek. I looked up and saw myself in the mirror. Pale, tear-streaked face. Red, stuffy nose. Bloody lips from being chewed on for hours. Messy curly chocolate brown hair. Blood-shot red eyes. I looked horrible but none of those matters right now. I can't take this anymore! I tell him, I'll just be rejected, leaving me with pain. But if I don't, the pain of seeing him with Perrie and self-pity would eat me up. Either way, I would still be in pain. Why does the world hate me so much? Why me? Why me did they choose to fall for their best friend furthermore band mate? Why did they choose me to be gay? I could be with a girl right now but the world chose me to fall for him! Frustrated tears continue to fall, faster than before. 

I looked around, shaking my head, trying to get him out of my head but instead my eyes land on my razor at the side of my sink. Light shines off the blades of the razor, drawing me closer to it. I know the pain it causes because I've done it before. Sometimes I do it on my wrist. Other times on my legs or stomach so that no one would notice. I know why other people do it. Comparing my reasons to others, it just makes my reason so pathetic. But then physical pain overpowers emotional pain, right? 

I took the razor in my hand and smashed it on the floor. I picked up the blades and kicked the broken plastic aside. Light glistened off the blade as I sat them on my wrist. The cold metal on my skin set shivers down my spine. Slowly, I added pressure on the blade. My skin tore and a bead of red warm liquid appeared. I dragged it vertically down my wrist. A sharp stinging pain shot up my hand as adrenaline rushed through my body. I stared at the cut in awe as more blood trickled down my wrist. I sat the razor down on my wrist one more time. My mind focused on making another parallel cut. I applied more pressure on it and slowly dragged it down 

Knock Knock 

"Shit!" 

Blood flowed non-stop down my wrist. The cut was too deep and even cutting across the old ones making them bleed again. I was starting to lose a lot of blood. 

"You okay in there man? I need to talk to you. I heard you swearing and you haven't been yourself this pass a few days," his voice was laced with worried. 

"Yeah, I'm just fine. I'll be out in a few," I shouted back. 

I turned on the tap and put my arm under the lukewarm water, flinching as water entered the cut, trying to wash off the blood as well as stop the bleeding. I tore my arm from the water and wrapped it in a towel. Sadly, the bleeding was just too much. I could see red slowly making its way onto the surface of the towel. I felt terribly light-headed. I felt my body fail and fall, my head hitting the blunt edge of the bathtub. My vision was blurred and a dull pain was felt on the back of my head. I could hear shouts from the other side of the door followed by the door being kicked down. 

My head was lifted and placed on something warm and comfortable. My eyelids were heavy as if someone was forcing it close. A shaky hand ran through my hair as I felt tears that are not mine drop onto my face. I could barely hear the owner of a voice say that help was on the way but I knew it as going to be too late. I could feel myself going deep into unconsciousness. I mustered all the strength I had left before letting go to say four simple words 

"I love you, Zayn"

~~~~~ⓩⓐⓡⓡⓨ~~~~~

So... That was the first chapter of my first story on Wattpad. Hopefully it turns out great and you guys would like it. Mind you, I did this at Midnight on my phone so I couldn't check for any errors and had to do the book cover on my phone as well. 

Read it. Like it. And Comment! Constructive criticism is welcomed! 

~ForgetMeDont