A Secret Whispering

One: The Arrival

 It hasn't nearly been long enough for me to forget, but it's been long enough for me to differentiate make believe from reality. Like when my mother died, I remember the pain I felt, I remember the horrifying unknown that was before me... even now I still can imagine her walking into my room and asking me how my day is; but sadly I will never hear those words again from her. John, my grandfather, agreed just a week ago to have me brought to Chance Falls, Alaska of all places to live until I'm no longer a minor... he's a quiet man, whose eyes are wrinkled from all the sights he's seen, but he still enjoys having his friends over for the hunting shows... the smell of nachos wanders up to my room and my fear is realized as the doorbell rings. "Andrea they're here!" John yells from the first floor. My welcome party has arrived, and me without my makeup on yet... pity. I go into the bathroom on the second floor to run some mascara over my lashes and put lip gloss on, but other than that my jeans and sweater with boots tops everything off in this ice bucket of a state...

The stairs are loud and every step I take the echo of it rings through the house. A man quickly reaches me and with a bear hug wraps around me and stops my breathing all at once. "Dad you're gonna kill her..." someone says and a laugh rumbles through him.

He sets me down and takes a good look at me, his huge hands stay on my shoulders and he beams, his beard and hair are the same dark brown color and he wears a flannel shirt, which I assume to be the norm here. "You probably don't remember me much Andy but I remember you." and as soon as he says the nickname Andy I hoped never stuck I remember who this burly man is.

"Mr. Adams?" I question recalling a man that looked like the guy on the paper towel package.

"Yes!" he laughs as John comes around to take the spot-light off me... he's pretty good in that way so far.

"Marshal I know you didn't come here to talk the girls ear off;" John reminds him and Mr. Adams grabs the beer off the table before waving good bye to me... once I heard the TV I knew I was safe so I turn to leave out the front door when I run into someone else.

"Sorry;" we say at the same time, he smiles like Mr. Adams but his eyes catch me and their dark blue trance that the ocean would be jealous of... "So you're Andrea," he smiles, which makes my stomach flip a bit but I remind myself to keep cool...

"Yeah, and you are?" I wonder hoping the art of flirting is the same everywhere and I won't have to wear a moose head or something crazy.

"Conner Adams, you know my dad..." he points with a reluctant glance to his father drinking with John on the couch. "When did you get here?" he asks looking back to me and I almost forget how to speak...

"Two days ago... haven't really had a chance to go anywhere though because of all the snow." I huff wanting ever so much to go back to Maryland where the most snow you get is a foot high, and that's if you forget to shovel the day before...

"The snow isn't going anywhere you gotta know how to get around it." Conner smiles realizing I'm not used to the climate. "I gotta get going, I only brought my dad so I could use the truck, but would you like to hang out sometime?" he asks, as he opens the door to go.

"Sure," I tell him before he closes the door behind him making goosebumps rise on my skin. What the hell was that? My nerve endings are on fire and I don't know why but I like it, I like the feeling that guy gave me... "Conner;" I smile at his name and begin to hope he will be attending the same school as I will be tomorrow...

The rest of the night I watch John and Mr. Adams entertain themselves with hunting jokes and even some weather banter before the doorbell rings again. It isn't until I get about halfway to the door that my hopes spike and I open the door to find I'm right. Conner Adams stands before me for the second time in my life but I feel an attraction to him that I have never felt to another person before; he waits for me to let him in with a tongue and cheek smile I can't help but return and allow him to pass, he looks relaxed from his short brown hair to his big brown eyes; the atmosphere in the kitchen is incredible and as we both stand to wait for the other and I can almost guarantee he feels the same tension... but once the TV cuts off and both men groan to stand we jump with a start and carry along as if someone would catch us standing here feeling each other's energies... "Didn't hear you come in boy, how was that movie you went to see?" Mr. Adams asks rubbing his enlarged belly from the beer they drank.

"It was pretty good, there were a few moments I really had no idea what was happening..." he looks off into the empty living room, "But I survived." He smiled and his father pats him on the shoulder.

"You did good boy, now just hook this one and maybe the universe will straighten out." I didn't understand at first that he pointed to me but when the feeling of the room sharpens I realize Mr. Adams is trying to play matchmaker and... that Conner probably doesn't want it because of the look on his face.

"You've had a few extra beers haven't you old man?" Conner pacifies his father and helps him out to his truck. I watch as he puts his father in the cab and then Conner turns. He starts back toward me and smiles as he approaches only to stare at me for a moment in the doorway, and without warning his father honks his horn startling us both into grabbing each other. "See you around Andrea, was really nice meeting you." He says before leaving me hanging a second after... I'm hoping it'll be soon. Once I'm back in the kitchen John gives me a knowing glance that reminds me of my mom... and the world seems to dull a little bit after that memorable first impression.

Hours have passed but I cannot stop thinking about what tomorrow will bring me... I've had the amazing pleasure of meeting Conner, so at least I'll have one friendly face, gorgeous face, at school tomorrow. "Andrea?" John nocks lightly, he opens the slightly closed door and smiles while grabbing his neck like somethings wrong. "I know living here wasn't your first choice," he begins and is correct, I wanted to live in a hotel in Maryland till I was eighteen... "But I'm really happy you're giving this place a chance." He comes to sit next to me on the bed, the smell of cigar and beer are still noticeable but he also smells like a wood fire of pine... and I'm starting to like that about him.

"I am too, I think it'll be a good change for me," I tell him honestly knowing that no matter how much I want to, I will most likely not go back to Maryland, it will never be the same without my mom...

"You never know you might actually like it here." He laughs and bumps my arm and I join him with a smile. "I won't be here to wish you luck tomorrow morning, but I wanted to get it in your head anyway;" he stands and makes his way to the door. "Good luck tomorrow, I know you'll be fine just trust yourself okay?" he waits for me to answer before he leaves.

"Okay John, I will do my best." He gives me a nod with his green eyes lingering remembering my mother and his talks with her, and I start to wonder why my mother ever left here in the first place... but the bigger question at hand; is what I'm going to expect from those who knew her?

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