Eddsworld Oneshots (I Do Requests)

Tom X (Gender Neutral) Reader

(This is a 'request' from a random person)

You walked into the apartment complex. You looked around for a man with no eyes and hair standing up straight. You glanced around for someone who matched that description. A man with no eyes walked past you. Target acquired.
    Your target walked into the laundry room with a basket. You followed him in. "Hi-" He quickly turned around and pulled out a harpoon and put it against your throat. "Tord?!" He lowered it seeing surprise in your face. You were scared. "I-I'm (Yn)...What's yours? You owe me that at least. You almost killed me!" He rolled his 'eyes'. "Fine, I'm Tom. Ok, goodbye." He shoved the collapsible harpoon back into his hoodie and shooed you away. He turned around and picked the basket back up while walking to a washing machine. You followed silently. "...So....?" He turned back around again, half way through with his laundry getting put in the machine. "Oh, you're still here." You nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?" He looked you over for a couple of seconds. You blushed slightly. "You don't have any laundry. Why would you be here?" You looked down. "....True." He went back to his laundry. "What are you doing in here anyway?" You shrugged. You forgot he couldn't see you.
He turned back around. "Oh, now you don't speak." He went back to his laundry. "...What's up with your eyes?" He groaned and turned back to you. "Why do the only people that want to talk to me talk about this? I swear! All they want to do is stick a dick in my eye!" You snorted. "I don't want to do that....it would be weird." You monetarily questioned if he tried to stick his own inside his eye. You giggled at that thought...also regretted it. He rolled his 'eyes'. "What's so funny now?" You smiled at him and shrugged. "Dunno....but you seem nice. Want to go get some coffee or something?" Tom hesitantly nodded. "Make it a bar and it's a deal." He pulled out a note pad from his eye and a pen and scribbled down his number and handed it to you. "See you at eight." Being done with putting his laundry in the wash he carried the hamper back upstairs to his room. You smiled. This man was an idiot. You walked out of the building. A white van was parked outside. You got into the back. "Target acquired si-" Two teens balls deep in eachothers screamed at you and grabbed a blanket to cover themselves. Your radio buzzed. "Wrong van, (Y/n)." You shielded your eyes and apologized. You quickly got out and ran to the right van. Pat was laughing his ass off. You playfully glared at him. Someone cleared their throat to your side. "Good work, (Y/n). Thomas will never know that hit him."