Lonely

1

{Demi's POV}

"Demi! Hey Demi c'mon you have to be on stage in like five second!" My assistant, Kelsey, says knocking on the door. 

"Uh...c-coming..." I say, wiping the white powder into the trashcan and looking in the mirror to check myself.  I wipe some off my nose as I frantically run my fingers through my hair. I whip my head around to run toward the door and run into a chair.

"FUCK" I yell. I'm fucking high as hell and I have to perform a whole fucking show. I feel a bruise already starting to form as I unlock the door to my dressing room and run toward backstage. 

"There you fucking are. What took you so long?" Kelsey asks, grabbing my arm and leading me to meet my dancers to pray before going out.

"Nothing...I was just putting on some more makeup." I say, wiping my nose over and over. It itches like shit. 

"Demi...." Kelsey says, grabbing my hand from itching again. "Were you......" She pulls my arm and we both stop walking as she looks me right in the eyes.

"No! I wasn't Kelsey...I promise." I say, continuing to walk. I've gotten used to lying to everyones face. I can't tell them I've started doing cocaine again. I've already fucked up twice before and I know they'll all leave if I do it again.

"Demi. I promise you can tell me anything." Kelsey says, jogging after me. I ignore her as I reach my circle of dancers waiting for me to lead them in our tradition of praying before taking the stage.

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"Now I'm fucking lonely, and you didn't want me. Trying to show me that you didn't own me. But all you do is leave me, fucking lonely. Knees on the concrete, cut up and bleeding. For no goddamn reason, but all you do is leave me fucking lonely" I take a deep breath in. Im sweating buckets. I feel dizzy and hot. "Leave me fucking lonely. Leave me fucking lonely" I feel sick. 

"L-Leave me.... fuck....fucking...." I throw up all over the stage and fall to my knees. I hear gasps all around me and I close my eyes, flopping onto my back, blinded by the lights that never bothered me before.

"Demi? Demetria?" I hear above me. My vision is blurry and I hear a ringing in my ears.

then darkness.

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"LONELY" I scream as I wake up.

"Demi! Are you okay?" My ex, Wilmer, rushes to my side.

"I thought I was...singing Lonely....I was just on stage...what the fuck...where am I? Why are you here?" I ask, pain shooting up my arm as I brush back a strand of hair from my face. 

"You're in the hospital. You overdosed....Kelsey called me..."

"I don't know why...we aren't even together anymore." I say, looking toward the door to see who else is here. 

"Demi!" I hear my name as one of my dancers, Dani, runs toward me. She wraps her arms around me. The events of the past few hours flash through my mind. I remember the drugs, Kelsey telling me to hurry up, our prayer, taking the stage, the performance, then the dizzyness. The sensitivity, the heat, the sweat, and the puke. I remember Dani's voice screaming my name as I drifted out of consiousness. I felt her arms around me the same way as they are now. 

"Are you feeling any better?" She puts her hands on my cheeks and looks me in the eyes. 

"Better than ever...." I say weakly, leaning back on the bed. She takes my hand and then her eyes drift toward Wilmer, who has retreated to the window. 

"Oh! Sorry...I didn't mean to...ahem.....interrupt anything..." She says, grabbing the end of her ponytail and messing with it.

"You weren't! Its fine. She was just waking up. I'm sure familiar faces are good for her to see." Wilmer says, walking toward the chair he was sitting in. He grabs his jacket. "I'm gonna run to the cafe for a coffee, would you like anything Dani?" 

"No thanks. But I'll stay here and watch over her." I smile, knowing how much she cares makes my heart flutter.

"Demi? Need anything?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm uh....I'm alright but thanks." I clear my throat and turn toward Dani again, who is still fiddling with her hair.

"Okay. Be right back." 

As soon as he leaves, I burst into tears.

 Dani climbs up onto the hospital bed and lays next to me. She puts her arms around me like a security blanket and caresses my hair.

"I don't even know why Kelsey called him! Why is he here? I don't understand how that was supposed to help.....I-I'm sorry I did it again." I say, burying my head in Dani's shirt. 

"Demi....its okay....I could never be mad at you...but I know this will raise concerns with everyone else. I'll help as much as I can but I don't know what to say." 

I look up at Dani and she smiles. I smile back and bury my head back into her chest. 

"Now I'm a warrior.....Now I've got thicker skin..." Dani begins to sing softly. I begin to sing with her and cry at the same time. 

"I love you, Dem." 

"Love you more, Dan."