Not Yet

8 | 𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℍ𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖, 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔹𝕠𝕩

A month passed, after the passing of Nurse Chloe Walker. They found her body by the cement stairs at the entrance of the hospital. The cops deemed it as an apparent suicide, but I was the only one who knew what had happened.

Did I feel any sort of remorse or sorrow? Was there reverence?  There was. I had written a short poem in her memory, highlighting the three days I spent with her:

"Stern as the heavy weighted sun,

of ignition of anger,

of splashes of querulous troubles.

This was a nurse who

was strong-willed until

the end"

A day after her death, I was allowed to leave and resume life as normal. But how could I be normal when there's something after me. It is clear as ice, the scribbled entity was hunting me down, and Chloe saved me the night before. Quelled the creature for another day, but I don't know when it would come back. For once, I felt afraid. This tangible terror, that maybe death is feasible. Before, I superficially wanted death – for all the wrong reasons. To fit in with the agenda, that death was cool. But it isn't. I know what it is. Death is sheer soulless, just you staring at the emptiness.

"Liam?" I snapped back from my thoughts.

I delved far, and now I'm reeled back to reality. I faced Billie, her eyes knitted in a frown.

"Did you hear what I said?" she asked, her fingers rhythmically tapping the hard, plastic table.

"No... no..." I said, "No, I didn't. Sorry."

"I said have you prepared anything when school ends."

"When school ends?"

"Geez! We are here Liam. At the end of high school. After, it's up to you to live your life."

"This fast? It went by so swiftly."

"It did Liam," she affirmed, "I want us to be forever together. But you know it isn't possible."

I nodded, agreeing the words she said. It was truth. Ever since that day at the corner store incident, I felt as if I always had another person I loved. Someone who I once encountered with. But it was a cling of hope, because I knew our love was futile. Just love on the surface.

"Like Matt and Sophia," she solemnly said.

"Huh?"

"They broke up."

I cocked my head in hard disbelief. No one told me this. Not a single word mentioned to me. I'm stunned. They were inseparable. What happened to that?

Love fades, Liam. Love fades.

It cannot be true.

What is the truth Liam?

Matt and Sophia were perfect for each other, like missing puzzle pieces.

You're just in denial. You don't want it to be true.

Don't say that. I'm not.

In your heart you know it.

"I don't know what to say," I mumbled, half-stirred up by the sudden revelation, "When?"

"Matt tried telling you last week. But he couldn't bring it upon himself to," she explained, "Liam, he was upset. He didn't know how to deal with it."

"But he tells you."

"He wanted to find someone to confide with."

"Then if he could tell you, he could've told me. You could've told me."