Sold~

Losing my mind~

The rest of the day I worked, my knees wobbling, my arms shaking, my heart racing everytime I heard the faintest footsteps. I didnt know whether to avoice Ace, or to talk to him yet. I was so confused, like always...

I just...I wanted to be in control of things for once. I was leaving.

The father hated me. Well hey, I hated him. He is just as cruel as Ace was when i met him.

Why couldnt my heart stop beating so fast?

Why couldnt I just forget about that kiss?

Because...

I think I liked it...?

I had to face facts.

I like him.

I shook my head, shaking all of those thoughts out of my head. I just, hated the thought of leaving, even though the past week or so was a nightmare, I still didnt want to leave just yet. I wasnt falling for Ace. And I knew he wasnt falling for me either, which stung like a papercut on my heart. I dont know...just...everythings so complicated. Everything now is, for every little girl out there being sold.

I remember the first time i was sold...I was only four...

"Where are we going?" I asked the man who held my small, fragile little hand. He was leading me down a dark, narrow hallway, wearing a sharp black tux, with shiney glasses.

He grinned down at me, for he was much, much taller. "To meet your new parents."

"I already have parents." I said, confused.

"Your new parents, young one."

He led me into a room, where an old sixty two year old and a young twenty two year old stood polietly, waiting to recieve me. I was just a posesion to them. A collection into their little twisted sick family. I didnt want that...

So...I started lashing out, tearing down the window curtains, messing with the other children, and hiding valuable things liek the vases they'd keep out on the shiny glass tables.

They sent me back the first week.

I stopped cleaning for a minute, as it all started to finally sink it. Ace kssed me. I'm leaving. I dont want to leave, not yet...

Like I said before, I needed to take control of my life. Why couldnt I just always chase after what I wanted? I was always the outcast, the one in the dark corner, the one who'd have imaginary friends instead of real ones. But this was diffrent. This was my heart, and right now it felt like a hallow shell full of nothing but empyness.

I couldnt cry, I had no more tears left to shed. It felt like if I cried anymore I'd be crying my own blood. I dropped the mop instantly, my own hands now bawling into fists. I did feel like punching a wall. I wanted to. No, I wanted to pnch that father. Ace didnt deserve what he got from that old man.

I didnt care about anything anymore. I'd already gotten beaten a few times, and though the pain is still there, I've learned to live with it.

Suddenly furious, I did punch the wall. It hurt. A lot. But it was worth it to see the damage I had done.

I grabbed picture frames off the walls, and tossed them on the floor, breaking the glass, watching it crack and split. I laughed with crazy in my eyes. What was going on with me?

I jumped around and continued my rampage, untill I couldnt breath any longer and sunk into the couch. I looked around at the mess, smiling a little bit.