Anything's Possible with One Direction

Chapter 12- the truth

Sooo sorry for taking so long! I've just been really busy school stuff! Sorry if it's kind of crappy. I tried to make it emotional but I kind of suck at it.. COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK :)

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**Ashley’s P.O.V**

I ran out and flung the hotel doors open. The hot breeze in my direction felt like a slap in the face. I heard it whispering mean things to me like, Ashley’s fat. Ashley’s ugly. Ashley doesn’t deserve to be here.

I tried to block them out, but they wouldn’t stop.

I ran as fast as I could, away from everything but it was all like a game to the breeze. It kept chasing me everywhere I turned to try to get away and my legs were about to give up on me. Of course, on top of being ugly, I had to be a klutz too. I tripped over some pebbles on the ground and I fell face first on the ground. Luckily, no one was around to witness my fall because somehow I managed to run to a very deserted street.

I let everything I was feeling out. I cried and cried till I thought I didn’t have any tears left. But they still kept on coming.

People think I’m crazy because when I cry, I never stop. But that’s because when I start crying, I start thinking of everything that’s happened to me in my life and that just makes me cry more. Everything just all comes back to me like a big punch in the gut.

After all those months of therapy for my “problem” I finally was able to stop. But deep down I knew I was never really fixed. Ugliness doesn’t just “stop.” It’s always there to haunt you. And now there’s only one thing I could do to get rid of the pain. I got up from the ground and ran to puke out all my breakfast.

Halfway through, I felt some hands wrap around my hair, pulling it off my face. I felt bad that someone had to see me doing this, but I needed to keep going. It helps me get rid of those hurtful memories.

When the deed is done, I wipe my mouth and face my helper.

“Ashley, I’m soo sorry. I..uh, I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about yourself.. you’re amazing okay? Please don’t do that again..” Zayn pleaded, handing me a piece of gum.

I gratefully accepted it and shoved it in my mouth before I said, “You don’t have to apologize. It’s okay, really.” Ugh I was so used to people feeling bad for me. Their pity just made me feel worse inside. They probably thought I was some weirdo lonely girl or something.

“I do though,” Zayn started, “I hurts me to see you crying and doing this to yourself! Especially if I caused it again! I’m soo sorry, Ashley.” He said, sitting down on the curb.

I sat down next to him and pulled my knees to my chest. I felt Zayn wrap his arm around my waist and pull me closer to him.

He asked, “Babe, why are you so insecure??”

A billion reasons popped up in my head immediately. I felt my eyes start to burn, and I tried to hold back the tears the I knew were about to fall but I couldn’t stop them. I silently started to cry again and Zayn pulled me even closer to him. He lifted up my chin with his finger so that I was forced to look him in the eyes.

“Please tell me what’s wrong.” He said.

Those five little words were enough to make my break down. I threw my arms over Zayn bawling into his chest, hugging him as hard as I could. I cried for what seemed like forever, completely soaking his shirt with my tears.

I knew I needed to tell him. I knew he was someone I could trust with my life, someone who would always be there for me no matter what. And I’ve only had a handful of people like that in my life. So I told him. I told him about the first time my friends ditched me, the first time a guy called me ugly, the first time someone called me fat, the first time I threw up. And then, how even after that I still wasn’t good enough.. I told him all about my disorder. About the first time I found out I had it. How everyone felt bad for me but deep down they probably thought I was weird. The first time I asked for help. I told him everything. And God it felt so good. I poured my heart and soul out to that 19 year old boy and I don’t regret it.