What Is This Feeling {DISCONTINUED}

Seventh Grade...

I didn't intend for this to happen...

I didn't mean to make a scene...

I didn't intend to show them how weak I was...

I didn't mean to get Michi in trouble...

And I definitely didn't intended to drag him into this...

                                                                        *§*§*§*

It was late November, maybe even early December, when I got called to the counselor's office.

I knew this day was coming, I knew I was going to have to talk to my counselor about the bullying one day, but the same day as the bullying documentary. That was some deep s**t irony.

"So, when did it start"

"Sixth grade" I choke back tears, my breathing is heavy.

"Why, did you say, that it was happening?"

"Because I liked a guy..." Tears prickle in my eyes, they're going to overflow soon.

"And who was the main offender?"

"Lily Houge..." I whisper, the tears start to fall.

"And can you give me some examples of the offenses?"

"Um.. Well... She would... tell jokes to her... her friends about me... right to my face" I shook violently, the memory playing in my head...

"Garroth Ro'meave?" the substitute called.

"Present!" Laurence said, raising his hand. This was common, the popular kids switching names. It was most often common with Lily and Alex, and Laurence and Garroth. They'd pretend to be each other. Swap lives for a day. And this time, I was trying to play along...

"Soooo! Garroth! How's your girlfriend?" Lily chimes from across the table, putting down her scissors, and putting her protect on hold. I, hearing this, pretend to be surprised, and look at Laurence.

"Wait! Garroth has a girlfriend?!" I made a sarcastic face and gestures so they would get I was joking.

It didn't work.

"Yeah!" Lily said, her eyes staring into mine, "You didn't know that?! Oh my Irene! Gab, you must be so heartbroken!"

"Should I bring her in here to talk about it?" I don't answer, my counselor steps out of the room and hands a call slip to a TA.

Minutes pass. Cluelessly, Lily walks in. Her face drops when she sees me, I can tell she knows she's in trouble. And she's formulating a lie, like 'I was just being friendly and teasing her, that's all!' or 'I didn't even realize I was making fun of her!', to get her out of it.

Those were not the lies she used.

"Did you bully Ms. Rooks?"

"What?! No!" Lily looked offended, she was acting really well, too well.

"Then who did bully her?" I was staring at her now, tears slipping down my cheeks, I was afraid and curious about who she would say was bullying me. Alex? Laurence? June?

"Michi and Garroth." The tears came faster now, I knew, or at least I was hoping, she was lying.

"I'll go get them, how about you two sit here..." She sat us down right next to each other at this table in the corner of the room that wasn't visible from the door, and then went to our class.

I was tempted to say something. To ask her why she lied, or rather, to ask if what she said was true. But I held my tongue, afraid of what she might say. Seconds later, the counselor walks in and takes a seat at one of the other 3 chairs at the table. After her, Michi walks through the door and sits down at the chair closest to the door, after she had sat down, it finally registered to her that I was sitting across from her, crying.

And then Garroth walked in, upon seeing me crying his face got red. I couldn't read his expression, though, boys had always been hard for me to read. We sat for a while, in silence so quiet, we could hear the clock ticking, and the sounds of distant classes.

"So, Ms. Gabrielle, would you care to explain why you all are here?" I shook my head, no way was I going to say it. "Ok then, well, you two," the counselor looked pointedly at Michi and Garroth. "Are here because Ms. Lily says they you two have been bullying Ms. Gabrielle." I choke back a sob and Garroth stares at Lily, I'm still unable to read his facial expressions, but I see a look that I perceived as shock cross his face. Michi lookes a bit confused but other than that, she looks normal, like she wasn't registering the accusation.

"So, I just want to say behavior like this will not be permitted at Matelli Middle School, and you will face consequences..."

And that's all I wrote.

Guys, I'm dying

In my book "What Is This Feeling" I wrote about my middle school experience told through the eyes of Kim(Gabriella). One of the major plot points is the fact that Kim gets bullied for liking Garroth.

Well we know that this is actually based off of me getting bullied for liking one of the popular guys at my school.

But here's where the story is different from my life:
I have a boyfriend now, one who isn't that popular guy. In fact, he doesn't even go to my school. But, I guess some people are wondering what happened to the people in that story, so I'll tell you guys.

The girl who bullied me;
She placed the blame of bully on the guy I liked and one other girl. (In the story they're Garroth and Michi(duh that just got said in this chapter)) So she got kicked from the group, after confessing that she liked the guy she bullied me for liking. That's right, it was jealousy. So she spent that entire day crying. And then when we were in 8th grade, she dated a 7th grader, and became one of the most hated people in the grade. I guess karma really is a bitch...

The guy I liked;
Him and I haven't talked since the fourth week of 8th grade. He ended up bringing a ton of other people into the popular group(which was originally referred to as "The Blond Squad" or "The Bleaches") I actually sit next to one of the new members in Biology, he's the reason I know all of this stuff. He says that the guy I liked is one of the coolest people in the group. I still pass said guy in the halls daily, but we don't talk.

All of my friends are scattered, but the close ones are still with me.

But yeah.

This is the last Chapter. This book is now officially DISCONTINUED.

Thanks guys!

💗