You Paint Over My Life

A Shadow In The Dark

They stood in the middle of an empty road as the rain poured on top of them. The pitch black atmosphere made the tears in her eyes completely invisible. Yoongi stood there in his black band t-shirt, ripped black skinny jeans, and black leather jacket. His mint green hair drooped over his forehead and eyes as it drenched with rain water. His cold hands tucked in his leather jacket pockets. The pressure of the rain drops that were slashing onto their cold, trembling bodies was as hard as rocks. Miin stood there in her long sleeved black crop-top with two white strips on the sleeves, her black high-waist skirt with two white strips covering her stomach as her lose crop-top hovered over the rest. Her clothes were drenched as well as her black low heeled ankle boots sloshing with water. Her once curly red hair had almost turned into a dark red-black color as the rain left the curls loosely hanging. Her hair drooped over her eyes, making it hard to see her face clearly. The pouring rain made it hard to see her teary eyes. Her head was slightly tilted downwards as her eyes narrowed towards Yoongi's direction. The space between them felt miles away when it was only eight feet apart. 

"Why...?" Miin's shivering voice could be heard letting out a whisper. 

"Why what?" Yoongi looked down at the short girl.

For a few seconds silence filled their air. "Why did you leave!!??" Miin eventually shouted out before she completely went silent again. Her voice shook as her words felt like a burden on her chest. 

"I told you already..." Yoongi's cold voice echoed through Miin's head. "It's just an uncomfortable feeling."

Yoongi's cold words punctured her heart like a dagger. An uncomfortable feeling...Is that explanation all I'm worth!!!?? Miin's angered thoughts consumed her as she balled up her fists. She stomped her food as it caused the water below her feet to slash up to her ankles. Her heart tightened inside her chest as it felt like her lungs were closing up. He was taking her oxygen away and he didn't even know it. Miin forced back tears forming in her eyes. As she took a gulp her throat began to close up. She felt suffocated with every swallow she had to take. She held onto the charms on her necklace that wrapped around her neck. She always held onto those charms and fiddled with them when she was anxious or feeling hurt. One charm consisted of the ring Yoongi have gave to her just a few days prier. Miin kept her gaze to the wet gravel. Her tears dripping down and off her face blended in with the rain drops pouring from above. "I-I understand..." Was all that her shaken voice could stutter out. 

As they stood there in silence Yoongi looked upon the broken girl. He wanted to come closer to her and pull her into a tight, passionate hug. He wanted to comfort her, but all his cold body could do was stand there with his hands in his pockets and his head slanted downwards. Time almost immediately froze for the two. His silence tore Miin apart as much as his words did. Thoughts swarmed her mind as Yoongi just stood frozen in time. He felt nothing but the coldness in his chest. Miin quickly broke the silence while a small whisper, "Then...what do you want...?"

"I...I don't know..what I want.." Yoongi paused between his sentence. He couldn't tell her what he wanted to tell her. He couldn't tell her that he wanted her. He couldn't tell her that he wanted to hold tight onto her small body and never let go. He couldn't tell her that this "uncomfortable" feeling he felt was the love he felt towards her. He couldn't tell her because he didn't understand it. He didn't understand this feeling of love. He didn't understand the feeling of love at all. He didn't understand why he felt a spark of happiness, warmth, compassion, and hope when he stared into her eyes or when he felt her warmth pressed against his body. He didn't understand why someone so pure, so innocent, so kind wanted to hold onto a broken fragment like him. He didn't understand why she wanted him. She was too good for him and he didn't want to tear down the person he admired the most. 

With every word that slipped between his lips an icy dagger ran through her heart. His cold words sickened and angered her. Was that explanation all she was worth? "Of course you don't..." Miin managed to slip out through her closed throat. She turned her back towards him as she fiddled around with the ring on her necklace. The ring she held close to her heart. All at once the tears came streaming down her face faster than the rain above. Her heart beat until it exploded and sunk to the pit of her stomach. Slowly, she stepped one foot in front of the other. Don't look back. Don't look back. Miin repeated in her head as she grew further away from the one she loves. He won't come after you. He's not coming after you. Miin told herself as she hoped a switch in his head would flip and she would suddenly feel his arms embrace warmly around her small waist. But just to be expected, he didn't. He let her grew further away from him until she was a spec in the distance. Until she was a shadow in the dark. 

As she turned away Yoongi could feel her heart slip between his finger tips. His chest tightened and he could quickly feel his heart drop as if he was going down the highest roller-coaster there was. But this roller-coaster wasn't one he wanted to be on. Don't run after her. Don't run after her. Yoongi repeated in his head as she grew further and further away from his view. The space between them haven't felt this far, this empty, this lonely until this moment in time. He wanted to run after her. He wanted so bad to run after her and hold her cold body in his embrace and warm her up with every touch he could. He wanted to hold her so close and so tight that all the broken pieces he left in her would magically go back into place. But he didn't. Instead he just stood there and watched the one he loves walk away until she was a spec in the distance. Until she was a shadow in the dark. He didn't want to hurt the person he admired the most, but he could tell that he already did, no matter how many lies she told him about her happiness.