Dear Caiden
It doesn't feel right that all this is explained through a text message because who am I to text, I can't text you knowing you wont be there for the reply. Because knowing you wont be there for the reply is the hardest part, knowing that as hard as I try nothing can bring back the cuddles, the fights, the way it felt to love you and feel your love surround the deepest areas of my heart, never was I to see your smile turn on the light switch when my world was dark and lonely, never would I hear your voice say "I love you." Never would I breathe another breath of our once endless love.
On some days I will very often isolate myself in my forlorn bedroom that captured so many memories that I needed in hopes that it would bring you closer to me, but every time reality pops out from behind the darkest selfish areas and reminds me not only of my loss but of my loneliness, reminding me that I am never to be the same without you.
This room is so far away from me but so close to the memories I need of you, and that makes it so hard to move on, but I don't want to move on, I want to have the remainder of you in this room so that on the days I isolate myself I can have the little reminder that what we had is not gone, I find memories of us scattered in the loneliness places of my life, the loneliness places of my life where reality isn't and I can pretend, even if its just for a few seconds, that you are here with me, and in those few seconds, I don't feel so alone.
When my phone rang on that day, October 23rd 5:24pm, I felt so alone, I felt alone in the way that I thought no one understood my pain, apart from you, I felt the surface tension of our connected hearts break, but I couldn't talk to you about this because as much as I hated to admit I knew you wouldn't reply, deep down I knew but that still didn't stop me from venting out my dispirited emotions on this useless yet somehow important piece of paper.
Basically, I need you Caiden, I need you more than rain to a rainbow, art to Leonardo Da Vinci, Science to Albert Einstein, Butter to bread, you are the thunder to my lightening, you lighten the path when my day is rainy and when harsh words were thrown carelessly into my heart. You are and always have been the sun in my life.
From the person who wants nothing more than her Romeo back
Lydia Brennan aka Juliet
YOU ARE READING
The Absent Return
RomanceHer eyes were the delicate crystals my heart yearned to stare into for all of eternity. The fairness, kindness but yet fragile and important no matter how easy it may be to break. In a way, she was a delicate crystal, and I was the remaining pieces...
