HERE COME THE REGRETS

T H I R T E E N

"Junhui... please... don't do this to me," she pleaded, almost kneeling as she held him tightly in her arms, trying hard not to let go of him as they stood near the door of their apartment door. Her tears flowed freely down her face as she held her, hoping that he would listen even after all these times. There was a bunch of papers on her hand, with bold letters on the top and near the bottom part was a dotted line, duly signed by his own handwriting.

"We tried so hard for years... but I don't think it's working for us anymore," he replied with his head straight, looking on the horizon where the rain was pouring in torrents and his body stood unresponsive to her. He wanted to take her into his arms, hold her tight, and say words that might make them both okay; unfortunately it wasn't the case now.

It's been a couple of years since they got married. Things were running good and smoothly even after they got married. People even find them ideal because of the kind of professional relationship they have inside the workplace, and the sweet moments they had outside the hospital. They were a match made in heaven, despite of being culturally different; and broke barriers no matter how difficult it was for them.

But ever since Junhui decided to train for his special area in surgery, days had been longer and very busy for them, almost having no time for each other. They barely see each other at home, Junhui was nowhere to be seen despite of having 14 hours of work in a day and she was assigned in the ward just in the next building in front of the Surgical Complex. This caused them to have fewer dates, lesser time to talk, and more time for argument.

It was beginning to get toxic until it became too much for them.

And now, there they were standing in front of the door, with tears falling from their eyes and hearts breaking.

"I'm sorry... but I have to do it. I don't want to enslave you because I'm no longer there for you... You need your freedom – "

"No, Junhui! I don't need it – "

"You need someone who will love you and take care of you, despite of your shortcomings. Someone who will support you in your endeavors especially now that you are – "

"If there was one person that I need, it's you, Jun... i-it will always be you," she sobbed.

"But I am not that person who could fulfill his duty to you... You deserve someone else – "

"Jun... please."

He slowly raised his arms and pressed her body against his. Kissing her crown, he knew it will be his last time to see her, to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her.

"Remember... I have loved you and I always will..." Those words killed him from the inside as his conscience tried to work on him, but he had to do it. He had to be the one to end their toxic relationship, because there was no love anymore but only regrets.

He held her by the arms and pushed her away from him, picking up his bags from the floor and rushed outside the door. With great timing, a taxi stopped by the walkway, and placed his cars onto the trunk. He could only hear the wails of his wife, now his ex, pleading him to come back. It was breaking him all the more.

And when he closed the cab door, his heart shattered all the more when he heard the sound of his 1 year-old son, crying, screaming his name to make him come back home.

Yet he choose to raise the windows and sped towards the airport.

Junhui was lost in himself as he sat on one of the benches in the Han River Park, allowing the painful memories of his past pass through his minds, devouring every inch of his being in conscience and in regret.