In the Middle of the Night

It was the middle of the night when Jimin found him. He didn't notice him at first, his own head still foggy from sleep and the living-room was dark other than the moonlight that streamed through the floor to ceiling windows. In the murky shadows, he realized Jungkook was sitting alone, staring out across the Han River. He muttered a 'hey' as he continued to the kitchen for a glass of water, but Jungkook didn't respond. When the light from the refrigerator flooded the shared space, Jimin glanced at him again. He was like a marble statue, complete with eyes that didn't seem to actually see anything.

"You okay?"

Nothing. Jimin put his glass in the sink and went over to the couch. "Hey, what's up?" 

Jungkook's bottom lip, although seemingly carved of cool marble, quivered for just a second, betraying him. Jimin sat on the coffee table so that he was beside him. He touched his arm and JK's lip quivered again, this time it was harder for him to stop it.

"What's wrong? You're starting to scare me." 

Jungkook shook his head, not able to speak. 

Jimin knew it was hard for him. "It's okay, you can talk to me." 

"It's just..." Moonlight gathered in his eyes as he fought back tears. 

"Just what?" 

 "What if it all ends tomorrow?" 

"Oh." Jimin didn't need to ask what he meant; each and every member knew the panic that hunted for them in the empty hours when they were alone. A packed schedule, comebacks that never seemed to end, days where they begged for sleep - most of their time was too chaotic to allow them much time to think, but every once in a while, in the middle of the night when they were alone and were able to step back for a bit of perspective, the cold reality of their finite time on stage punched them in the gut. 

"What if ARMY suddenly decides they don't care anymore?" His voice shook. "It's all so fragile. One bad concept, or one of us gets caught dating, or we say the wrong thing that gets misinterpreted..." 

"Don't do this..." Jimin touched his cheek. 

"But it's all going to end, isn't it? And what if it ends tomorrow?" Jungkook looked at him, his eyes full of fear. "Who will I be then?"