Iridescent (GirlxGirl) (ON HOLD) (Lesbian Story)

Chapter Three

(A/N: I apologise for the terrible chapter!)

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I lit up a cigarette gratefully sucking the smoke down my throat, feeling the haze cover my brain. Memories were already fading from my mind as I lay in my bed.

“Want one?” I offered, holding one out for Malia who was lying next to me. She shook her head and I shrugged. “Your loss.” I took another drag and she grimaced.

“Not all of us like the trash you’re putting into your body.” I frowned and faced her. Her gaze was fixated to the ceiling. I suddenly couldn’t help but notice how pretty her hair looked splayed out like that around her head. I shook my own head in a daze, looking at the cigarette packet. What the hell have they put in this stuff? I don’t usually think about Malia in that way.

“Why are you staring at me?” I blinked rapidly, confused, realising that I had been looking at her by accident.

“Oh, um, I dunno,” I gave a nervous chuckle. It was silent for a moment and my thoughts drifted to unwanted places and times. I widened my eyes, no! These cigarettes are supposed to be the best kind and they’re not working! “Come on, let’s get out of here.” I said to Malia, getting off of the bed, holding my hand out for her. She took it and I bit my lip at how soft her hands were.

What the fuck?!

“Where are we going?” Her voice snapped me out of it and I gave her a grin.

“I need to get some more dosh.” I saw her eyes widen in realisation.

“Katya, no! What did I say just ten minutes ago? I’m done with this shit! I’m not going with you to your dealer!” I gave her my puppy dog eyes.

“Please Malia; I need you to come with me.” I could see the hesitation and she sighed rolling her eyes.

“I can never say no to you,” she muttered under her breath. I pretended I didn’t hear that, a blush rising onto my cheeks. “Fine! But only to make sure you don’t get into any fights. I’m not bailing you out of jail again.” I scowled at the memory.

That bitch had deserved it.

“I thought we agreed we wouldn’t bring that up,” I whined. She rolled her eyes. “But that’s fair. Thank you baby girl.” I kissed her forehead again and went outside towards my crappy car. She followed me in, her cheeks slightly red. She looked cute.

“How far away is your dealer?” She seemed pissed. I sighed, getting the sudden feeling that she’s slipping away from me. I’m going to lose her, just like I’ve lost everyone else in my life.

“He’s-he’s about, um, ten minutes away.” I drew a shaky breath, trying hard to fight the tears appearing. I was losing control. I fumbled in my bag, searching for the pills, Malia forgotten. I heard her gasp, and she grabbed my hands together.

“Katya! Katya stop!” I looked up at her sniffing, trying to wipe my eyes. The feeling that I’m fucking everything up still strong. “You don’t need those pills! You’re stronger than this.” I shook my head desperately.

“You don’t understand!” I hissed, my voice surprising her and myself. It was like I was having an out of body experience, letting all my emotions take me over at once.

The hurt, the betrayal, the pressure, the stress.

“You’ll never understand because you’re Miss perfect! You have no idea what’s going on. You. Don’t. Know. Me!” I spat out, tears running freely down my face now.

“I’m nowhere near perfect, so don’t fucking say that! I’ve known you for five years! I know everything about you! I know that your favourite colour is blue. I know that you still suck your thumb. I know that you have nightmares every night and even when you’re screaming, I don’t ask what’s happening, I only comfort you. I know that you feel you have no one, but you don’t! You have me!” She was crying now too, and breathing hard from her outburst. I was shocked into silence. I was a mute. I shook my head.

“You-you have no idea, no idea.” I repeated this over and over again, when suddenly her fingers curled under my chin, lifting my head up. Her eyes were glistening, but I couldn’t look away. I don’t know what she was searching for, but she must have seen it because she gave me a shaky smile.

“I’m about to fuck everything up,” she whispered, and before I could ask her what she meant, she leant in and kissed me softly. I closed my eyes at her plump lips on mine.

What the hell is happening?!

She broke off, my breathing ragged. I missed her lips already and I scolded myself for feeling like this.

“Say something,” she whispered. I made a strange sound in my throat before closing the distance and bringing us together again. I wrapped my arms around her waist and she melted in my arms, kissing me back fiercely. I licked her bottom lip, and slipped my tongue inside, battling for dominance.

“Wh-why is this happening?” I breathed out, our foreheads together.

“Because I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.”

“Bu-but we can’t. You don’t know what could happen getting involved with me. I-I’m not good.”

“I know you have your secrets, but I don’t care. I want to be with you. Please.” I couldn’t fight it, and my answer was kissing her again.

I’m making a huge mistake.

She could get hurt, or killed. But I can’t help it. I haven’t had anyone want me for so long. I’ve been craving the feelings, and the touch of another human being.

You’re going to kill her that little voice in my head said. I ignored it, knowing that I will protect her with everything. No one is going to touch her.

Ever.