Within Me

Hi

I guess it's about time my demons have found me. But the truth is that there is only one demon. It's called me. I'm to torture myself for all of my days. It all just starts with one bad day. Well, since this will be my forever . Let's get this started.

I know me, I'm relentless. All cause I can't get what I want. What I want, right now is to die. The reason this time is so I don't have to see my family to. I'm way to good at this. I'll die by my hand one way or another.

If not then I'll just die one day. My life is meaningless.

I know just how to hate myself again. All I got to do is speak some lives that hold truths to my heart. Though I thought it was gone. In this moment all I know is pain. I'm too good at this. All I've ever done is brought myself pain. Well maybe  it's not completely true. But I can't break me. I'm already broken. It was taken care of years ago. So how do I do what I do. It's easy, simple, and all I had to do was reopen old wounds.

I was just thinking how I used to be afraid of a large a part of myself. I gave it a name along my emotions. I give names to things I like, fear, and love. But all of those names fade. I can't remember them anymore. Soon I'll forget about them. The things I can't control I forget. But only once I control them again. Is anything worth it? Worth what anything? I think the answer is no. I have nothing I am nothing. I'm worth nothing.

Well while I'm still alive I would like to figure things out. I guess we might lock part of me away again give it a name and forget it. Don't worry I'm dead. Already. Let us die in peace self. Though I know of no such thing as peace. So what do I have to say to you, that is the question?

I'm writing this cause I have to but me down somewhere. Even if it's just everything bad. Just to try and forget it. But it out of mind out of sight. Somewhere where no one can see me. I try and put out the darkness within me. The truth fo the matter is that I don't want to act on these things inside me. So I do them in my dreams and try to keep me happy. Make sure I don't do what I want to.

As one such as myself I am living out my mass murder and lust out in full. All in my dreams. I try every evil deed , running down the path. All to see what will become of me. What monster I am. What kind of monster I will be this time. I've live a million different centeries out. All of that happening and playing out in my dreams. I don't remember them all.

Well our story has begun, hasn't it.
Here's to the first page of this story.