Recovery

Hurt

Their popularity was unexpected, the series was more than well received by local and international fans. The whole cast was exhilarated as fanmeeting were arranged in different places as more and more demand for them come in. The cast naturally formed a strong bond together, even more so between Krist and the senior that he had silently watched for many years.

Between Krist and Singto, the relationship evolves to something that baffles even Krist himself. During some shoots or interviews, some reporters or interviewers can be intrusive and Singto just seem to know how to placate him with a soft touch on his arm when he was about to give a biting reply. That singular touch brought him down, reminding him to be courteous. These are offhand touches of support, comfort, companionship, reminders.

For some reason he started to crave for more, jealous when Singto gave his attention to another cast member. It scares him, how someone can affect him so and how easily the other became part of his life, someone that he couldn't imagine being without. The scariest part is, he have no fucking clue what does any of this or if it even mean anything to the older man.

Krist sat in another dressing room, in yet another country as he scratched at the formed scab on his thigh while another hand held onto his phone, scrolling through comments that was left in his social media feed.With fame, with people profusing undying affection, on the flip side, people cursing at them saying how they are a talent-less bunch of people and these attacks ranges from silly to malicious.

You are never good enough

You are just a burden to the rest

Give up already

His eyes didn't leave the vicious words on the screen as these whispers of doubts and self hate started soft and gained momentum far too fast, louder and louder till he could hear nothing else  but these thundering in his head.

"Kit?

That distinctive voice permeated through his conscience as a hand stilled his hand on his thigh. He looked up. Singto stood there, a concerned look on his face. Krist let go off the death grip he didn't know he had on his phone, letting it fall on the ground with a clatter. Both of them stared at the dark spots of blood forming under the semi dark jeans.

"Come"

Krist stared at the hand offered and up at the eyes staring back at him without judgement. He reached out, letting the older lead him to the bathroom, not before Singto grabbed the first aid kit.

He sat on the counter next to the bathroom sink while Singto rummaged through the kit. The older gestured for him to take off his pants and it was then he remembered why he shouldn't. He hopped off the counter, his escape thwarted by Singto, not with words, not with actions but just with those unflinching steady eyes on him, not pushing, but just asking.

The faded almost transparent lines merged with red raw ones, some bleeding, some healing, all at different stages of recovery, all testaments of how long this had been going on. No words were spoken, just slow breathing was heard as one tended to the other. A hundred questions swirled in both of their minds but nothing was spoken. Nothing could be spoken, not just yet.

They cheat and lie and steal and break and bruise