Lost Without You (Jemi Fanfiction)

3: Without The Love

The next morning I wake up and instantly get ready to go to the hospital. Even though Joe hates me, I need to be there for him now.

I make my way to the hospital and up to the waiting room.

"Hi Demi," Nick greets.

"Hey. How's Joe and the baby?" I ask.

"Joe should be released tomorrow or the next day and the baby will probably get to stay in the regular nursery within the week."

"That's good. Would Joe be okay with seeing me today?"

"I don't think so Demi," Nick replies, "He's still off and obviously hurting."

"Has he even seen the baby yet?"

"No."

I sigh then Denise head off to visit the baby and I go with her. The little boy is super sweet already and you can tell that he's Joe's son with his looks.

I smile looking down on the baby. "Does he even have a name yet?" I ask Denise.

"Not yet," she replies. "With the way Joe is talking, he won't even keep him."

"Seriously?"

She nods somberly.

"Joe doesn't think he can handle raising the baby without Sophie."

I look down on the innocent child whose fate has been decided through suffering. Why is life so unfair?

"I would care for him, but I know that Joe will probably be staying with us for a while and I don't want it to hurt him."

"I understand completely. Wait! What if I could take him? Joe doesn't want to see me anyways."

"I'd have to ask Joe and the doctors about everything, but if it was just until Joe excepts everything it might be okay."

I smile. I don't really want to raise Joe and Sophie's baby but I can't see any alternatives that would work that well. Besides, I still love Joe and want to do this for him.

"I think I'll go talk to Joe," Denise says after a moment of silence.

"Okay," I say, "I'll stay here."

Denise smiles.

I hold the tiny baby in my arms. Although he's premature, he wasn't a lot below regular birth weight and other than needing oxygen, he's close to a normal baby is health. He has dark brown hair and eyes that have an intensity about them. He really is sweet. He seems to also have a lot of Nick's personality which is adorable.

I lay the baby back down and walk back to the waiting room to join Nick.

"Have you gone to visit the baby yet?" I ask Nick as I sit down beside him.

"Once," Nick replies, "He's really sweet."

I nod and we sit in silence for a while, unsure of what to say in light of the situation.

Denise comes back into the waiting room, trying not to make it obvious that she's crying.

"What happened?" I ask.

"He said that he doesn't care what happens to the baby, or to any of us," she says.

I nod, trying to understand. "So I can take the baby?"

"I guess so," she replies.

"I have to go home now," I say, "I have some work today."

I drive back home and look at the singular photo of the baby on my phone. He really is adorable.

Denise texts me saying that I can name him since Joe doesn't care at all about his baby, or so it seems.

I take some time to look up baby names on the internet. I don't want to just name him off the top of my head.

Eventually, I decide on Luca Cole, and he won't get my last name unless I go through an adoption process. I think I will if Joe doesn't come around on his terms and ask for his baby back.

I text the name to Denise and Nick and continue with working. I have a few interviews to go to tomorrow and am working on choreography for my performance of Sorry Not Sorry coming up soon. I know that I'll be busy but I'll lessen my work load once I have the baby at home.

About a week later, Joe is at home with his family and the baby is still in the hospital, but is getting released today. I'm really excited to actually be able to bring him home. I've bought a lot of things for Luca and prepared my spare bedroom into a nursery for once he's a little older.

Once I make it to the hospital, I go up to the maternity ward and go to pick up the baby.

"Hi, Demi!" the regular nurse says, "I see you're here to pick up Luca."

We walk over to Luca's bed and I pick him up. He's still quite small, even for a newborn, but has been gaining weight, so he's getting there. I get a few directions for caring for Luca. I know a lot since I had to attend classes at the hospital since he was premature.

Smiling down on the baby, I kiss his cheek then put him into the infant carrier.

"I'll see you in a week!" I say to the nurse as I leave with Luca.

When we make it back home, I bring Luca up to my bedroom and place the infant seat on the bed, the empty spot beside mine. I look down at his perfection and hope that someday Joe will get a chance to raise his baby. I know that I want to keep the baby for as long as possible, but I would never deprive Joe of loving Luca. I still love him too much for that.