Having a good temper is never something anyone in my family came by easily. Especially not me. After my brother died, I gave up on life. I didn't care what would happen to me. I didn't see the point in living anymore. I was so mad at God for taking away my last reason to live that it made me numb. The first four months after my brother's death were a haze. I simply went through the motions of life without actually ever being present. I went to work, came home, ate dinner, went to slept, and repeated it all day after day.
It wasn't until one day when I was gathering my things and about to head home from working all day at the factory until things changed. One of the girls who I work with, Nancy, came over to me.
"Good evening , Reagan" Nancy said.
"Evening, Nancy" I replied rather taken aback. Besides a few brief interactions with the girl, I had barely ever spoken to her before.
"I was hoping, that maybe you'd be willing to talk. I've got something important I wanted to ask ya," she told me.
"Sure, I suppose that'd be fine." I was growing rather curious which was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time.
"Tonight would be okay?"
"Just fine. You could come to my flat," I offered.
"Perfect. How about 9 o'clock?" she asked.
"Alright with me." I gave her my address and started on my walk home wondering the entire time what could be so important that she couldn't just ask me now.
Once I got home, I began to clean up the space a little bit. It was rather messy. Because of my haze, I hadn't been paying much attention to my surroundings. I couldn't bear go into my brothers room. The day of his funeral, I walked in there, laid on the bed, cried, and slept there for hours. When I woke up I left the room, shut the door, and vowed I'd never go in there again. It was finished.
I stood staring at the door for a good five minutes , letting horrible memories of scarlet fever flood my mind. I was startled when I heard the doorbell ring.
"Hello, Nancy," I said as cheerfully as I could bring myself.
"Evening, Reagan"
Nancy walked into my flat and I offered her a seat at the kitchen table. I offered her what little variety of food and drink I had but she refused it all, saying she had already ate.
"I suppose I should get right down to it," Nancy said.
"My cousin, who lives in County Cork, won a ticket on a boat headed for New York city in a poker game. I can't speak much for his morals, but nonetheless he gave the ticket to me because he had no use for it. However, I don't have any use for it either. I like my life and could never leave my grandmother. She is unwell and needs a caretaker with her at all hours. The first person I thought of was you. I know we don't really know each other well, but I've noticed that you've been in a bad way for quite awhile now. You're brother passed away, right? I don't mean to get in your business, I just heard some of the other girls talking."
"Yes, four months ago," I replied, shocked by how much this girl had paid attention to me.
"I thought so. So, do you want it? The boat leaves in two days and it might be a good opportunity for you to start fresh someplace new."
I didn't even give it a thought before I replied:
"Yes, I want it."
"Well, I'm glad! I think this will be really good for you, Reagan. I have the ticket here with me and all the information. There's a train headed for County Cork day after tomorrow and the boat departs in three day."
Nancy gave me all the necessary information and brimmed with excitement at the prospects of a new life for me.
"It's a second chance!" she called as she left the flat.
I was now left alone with my thoughts. I was surprised at how quickly I jumped at the chance to start a new life, yet part of me knew I had to. I couldn't keep living like this. Something had to change.
Three days later, I stood outside the gate to the shipping yard, suitcase in hand. I was leaving my depressing life behind me.
