secrets

one

My shiny, jet-black hair flawlessly cascades down my back. My lips glossed rose, and my baby-blue abaya “cloak” is pressed to perfection. But my skin. My skin is cut–cut to the bone. I pulled up the left sleeve of my abaya and inspected the razor-deep cuts on my arm. Nobody knows about these cuts, except my therapist, Ms. Clayson. Sighing, I pull down the sleeve and give myself one last look in the mirror, before I walked out of the bathroom back into my bedroom to put on my teal-colored Hijab.

I, sincerely hope this day will be better than all the others...

****

“Remeber, Sabeen. Your bother has a soccer practice after school so it’ll be just you and your mother.”

Sure he does. You fucking liar.

“I know, but we hardly ever have family dinner anymore, because of Isaac’s fucking soccer practices!” I cry out, trying to act like I didn't know my father was cheating on my mother.

“Watch your language, Sabeen,” my mother, Heather spoke from the dining-room chair she was setting in. “Honestly, young ladies shouldn’t cuss it’s disrespectful.”

Suddenly my dad sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Are you three done? I have to take Isaac to school then go to work.” he then walked over to my mother and kissed her lightly on her forehead. “Bye, Honey. Have a nice day. You too, Sabeen.”

Watching him take Isaac and walk out our apartment door, without giving me a kiss or hug, made me slightly irritated, but I brushed it off, knowing there wasn’t any point getting worked up anymore. Fuck him. Fuck, Abdul-Hameed!

When I finally got the irritation out of my system, I gave my mother a hug and told her, I'd be home by seven o'clock because Laiba and I might be going to the library to study for this massive English exam, but really we weren't. Then I grabbed all the items that I needed and left our apartment.