A/N: Hi everybody! I hope you enjoy!
"You have GOT to be kidding me," Evergreen groaned.
"This is my manly partner? No way!" Elfman shouted.
"Is....is something wrong?" the rather short and meek man said with a slight frown.
"No, no, nothing's wrong," Evergreen assured him, "I just wasn't expecting...THIS to be my partner."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I didn't expect a 'manly' douchebag who turns into a hideous monster to be my partner!"
"Well, I didn't expect a four eyed bitch, who is NOT a real man, to be mine!"
"Um...well then. All of my bags are packed, so... I'm going now...take care of my home, please!" the man fled for his life.
"Oh, great, look what you did!" Evergreen shouted.
"Me? You started it!"
"UGH! I'M GOING TO KILL BICKSLOW!!!" Evergreen shrieked.
"There's not even anyone here. Why the hell did this guy need guards?" Elfman complained, ignoring Evergreen's distress.
"Do you see this house? There's probably a ton of valuable items in there." Evergreen turned to the middle Strauss sibling, forgetting her drama.
"Why don't you go around to the other side of the house? I'll keep an eye on things here." Elfman nodded and left.
-LINEBREAK-
It was almost midnight. Elfman was having trouble staying awake.
Suddenly Evergreen screamed. Jolting awake, Elfman got ready to beat the hell out of someone, rushing around to the other side of the house.
"Evergreen? You alright?"
Evergreen was still squealing, shaking and pointing at the wall. Elfman turned and saw...a tiny spider.
"That...that's not even partially manly..." Elfman muttered.
"Kill it!" Evergreen squeaked. Elfman walked up to the wall, staring at the bug. It's movements seemed...mechanical.
"That's funny," he muttered. He picked it up.
"What are you doing?" Evergreen shouted.
"Ssh! This thing is a camera! We're being watched!" Elfman hissed.
"Watched? By who-" Evergreen was cut short when someone in a mask came and grabbed her, dragging her into the bushes.
"Hey! Let me go!" Evergreen tried looking the strange kidnapper in the eye, but they wouldn't look, almost as if they knew they would be turned to stone. He or she tied her to a pole...that wasn't there earlier.
"Kidnapping a woman isn't manly!" Elfman shouted, chasing the person, only to fall into a trap.
"Elfman!" Evergreen tried moving enough to see down the hole, but it was too deep.
"I'm fine! A real man can take a fal- OW!" The person in the mask dropped...a coconut? It landed on Elfman's head, from the sound of it.
"Hey! A manly snack!" Evergreen growled. He was more worried about eating his stupid "manly" coconut than saving her?
"I understand you have a 'manly appetite,' but can it wait for you to GET YOUR ASS OUT OF THAT HOLE AND SAVE ME?"
"Oh, yeah. Mind throwing me a rope?"
"Oh, yeah, and while I'm at it I'll make you a ham sandwich and a pina colada, I'M KINDA BUSY BEING TIED TO A DAMNED POLE!"
"Hey! There's a set of stairs here! Why are they down in a hole...?"
"IT DOESN'T MATTER! I'M ABOUT TO BE PART OF A SACRIFICE, DAMMIT!"
"Nobody said that."
"ARGH! JUST SAVE MEEEE!"
Elfman took the stairs back to the surface of the earth, and untied Evergreen. The masked person sat back in a lawn chair, snacking on a ham sandwich and sipping on a pina colada.
"Who the hell are you?" Evergreen shouted. The person shrugged, snapping their fingers and disappearing.
"That...was manly..." Elfman mumbled.
"Um...yeah, I guess it was. And so were you. Thanks for saving me." Evergreen kissed Elfman on the lips and walked away.
"Wait, wha..." Elfman started, but Evergreen was already gone.
-LINEBREAK-
'Oh, god, what did I just do?' Evergreen thought to herself, face bright red.
"I'm not into him," she announced to no one in particular, "He's an annoying douche, he's clumsy, he's stupid....but he's strong, caring, pretty damn sexy, I guess, and most importantly, he's a man. A real and true man."
"You really think that?" Evergreen whipped around to see Elfman standing directly behind her.
"Don't do that!" she shrieked. Calming down, she smiled a little. "And yes. I guess I do."
"Aw. MANLY BEAR HUG TIME!" Elfman picked Evergreen up, squeezing the life out of her.
"Elf! You're killing me!"
A/N: YAY! I loved writing Elfman for the first time! I hope you enjoyed part two! Next time we'll see the aftermath!
