The Pain Of Hope

Chapter 2

    I guess you could say it all began at age 12 really. My mom was an "entertainer" at a local bar. She would never tell me what that meant, but I found out on my 12th birthday when she wasn't able to make it. My dad told me, out of anger I think. My dad was in the oil field and had been laid off. My dad had a felony so it was really hard for him to get a job.

    It was around October when my mom separated from the family. It wasn't her fault though, it was my dad's. He was an alcoholic with a tendency to get violent when he had been drinking. He kept buying more and more liquor with money my mom said we didn't have. She would always come home late, I never thought she wouldn't come home one day.
   
    I was used to walking to school, but everyday my mom would wake me up. The first day she didn't come home, I was late to school. My dad would never really get mad at me, but when he did he would hit me for causing problems for him. So that day I got beat. He just wanted me to graduate because he didn't is what he said.

    No matter how hard I try I can never burn the image, of him standing over me with his leather belt in one hand and a bottle of Jack in the other hand, out of my mind.
  
    My dad was 43, much bigger than me, and had a balding head. His favorite outfit consisted of blue jeans and a white tank top. He would sit in his room or in the recliner in the living room and drink. I never saw a time he wasn't drinking or sleeping.

    My mom was working late one night for the money to get us food for the week. She didn't come home that night, or the night after. This continued for 4 days until a cop showed up at our front door. She was dead, and my dad was to be brought in for a couple of questions.

    The police station was very clean looking. Sleek and fun to look at, it was so simple. I was only 12 and I didn't really pay attention to the beauty of it all. I never understood how beautiful simplicity was. The marble tile looked so different than what I was used to seeing, it was mesmerizing almost. Until this time I had not realized that I would never see my mom again. I began to cry, as I stared at the floor, and for some reason I could not look away.