Chapter 7

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When I wake up I am both alone and crowded.

My eyes open at once, though there is nobody there to greet me, only the eerie presence of several machines whooshing and beeping too near to my head.

When I wake up I am both disoriented and certain.

It doesn’t take much thought to know I am in a hospital, though I don’t know for what reason; I remember the car, but then I remember nothing.

When I wake up there is nothing.

My breathing starts to increase as I start placing together the puzzle pieces that create the image that ends here in this bed, but I feel no pain. My head hurts, but I do not count that. I can’t remember falling asleep but I remember being at once awake and then being surrounded by an intricately dense darkness.

A woman dressed in scrubs walks in almost immediately and tells me that I’m okay, that I’m lucky, that I’m alive.

“Where’s my mom?” I ask, because isn’t that what you’re supposed to ask?

“Just outside,” she tells me. “Would you like to see her?”

“Yes.”

And I do.

 

I’m supposed to stay overnight, not because I am wounded but because I am not and because they want to observe my well being. I ask if I can sleep in the waiting room because I know what all of them are being careful not to tell me, and that is that Kate is not okay, is not lucky.

The nurse tells me I can rest in the waiting tomorrow after noon.

So I rest in the bed and I play good and I don’t complain and I fall asleep, though this time I am aware of doing it.

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