I remember screaming into my pillow until I no longer had a voice and shaking the headboard with bruised and bloody hands. A part of wished it had been your throat. It was 4 am and the only light in the room was the broken moon shining in through the foggy window. I spent months waking violently in a cold sweat from a dream where you finally apologized. I looked up the definition of the work promise because maybe I'd had it wrong. Maybe the promises you made were always meant to be broken. You became the monster hiding in the darkness under my bed. Your name made every bone in my crack until moving an inch would cause me to crumble to pieces. We used to be twins; it was almost like looking into a mirror when I looked at you. But now we're such opposites and the mirror has broken. I thought you were going to stitch my wounds closed with gentle fingers, instead you tore them open with jagged claws. I started smoking because I hoped I could suffocate every last piece of you that ever helped me breath, because I would rather be hollow than be a part of you. And even though I am hollow and my heart is the only thing rattling inside my chest, I no longer hate myself. I have taken every last ounce of hatred I've ever had while looking in that shattered mirror and dumped it onto your shoulders because you are what I used to be and I never want to be that again. You used to be a rose growing in my lungs but now you're just a thorn in the side of my heart that I ripped out and threw away for someone else to step on. You made me bleed away so much. You drowned me in an ocean of my own red tears and all I want is to return the favor. But I need you to know that I am who I am today because of everything you did. I have risen above all of my fears and insecurities because you were the one that pushed me off the cliff of my safety. And I hope you are wrapped up in solid chains of miserable thoughts of me. I want you to see my shadow creep out from beneath your bed and claw its way towards you. You should've treated my like I was worth world. You are the reason I trust no one.
