Forbidden // (Scömìche) ON HIATUS

12

Hi everybody.

The real life is not really a happy place for me now, so I have problems to find a time to write. Fingers crossed for double as an apologize.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter, please vote and leave me comments...

You will brighten my day.

Love you all.

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Scott's POV

I gasped and the phone felt from my hand. I couldn't see the photo anymore, but I have it burned to my soul. I closed my eyes and saw him. I opened my eyes and saw him. There was simply no escape.

I felt so much pain in my heart that I was hardly breathing.

Thanks god for a minibar...

I was drinking until there was nothing left and I have to admit, I felt better for a while.

Then it hit me in the full force.

Why is he doing this to me? Does he want to torture me, to see me suffer?

You probably don't understand my feelings right now. It is not only that I love him, but I am also responsible for him. I am his dom, his sir. I'm not here to command him, but to take care of him, to hold him, cherish him and to satisfy him.

When the dom see, that his sub is in a such needy mood, his only wish is to take care about him. Your heart is bleeding, because you know, that he is waiting for you and craving for your guidance.

This is so hard to handle on a long distance. You have just limited options how to take care about your precious one. You can use chat, video, orders via mobile, voice messages, but that's pretty it.

You can't be there physically, you can't comfort your baby. You can't release the stress, that is eating the other person.

The need of taking care can literally cause you headache, stomachache or absence of appetite.

Mitch is so young, unexperienced sub. He just tasted a small bite of the life style and he is probably confused right now. Loves and hates himself in the same time. I know how he feels. I was in his shoes, when I was around the same age.

I was the one curling myself in a ball, crying and whispering my dom's name. Are you asking how it is possible? Well, I am not strictly dom, I'm switch. That means I feel the need to be sometimes "on the other side". In my case, I want to be sub sometimes. Not really often and usually I can find the way how to comfort myself, but when you are a rookie, you can't start as a pure dom.

You have to learn. You have to get know how it is to be submissive. How it is to feel controlled pleasure or pain. What your limits are. How your body reacts to different types of stimulations. You have to get to know, who you are.

This should make you a better dom, because you would be able to empathize easily. It is not mandatory to choose this path, but it was my way. I admit that it was much easier to go through this experience as switch.

I hope you understand now better. I'm not a monster. I'm not using Mitch for my own pleasure. Yes, it is arousing for me, but I have his happiness on the first place in my mind every time.

Thanks god that I'm tipsy, which makes me a little bit numb, otherwise I will do something really stupid.

I hurt his feelings. I have to hold myself.