Blossomfall: Hello and welcome to my endless suffering!
Thornclaw: *sigh* We're doing this again?
Blossomfall: Didn't you hear? Endless!
Thornclaw: Hah. No. My doctor is already yelling at me and it's only been 16 episodes.
Blossomfall: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Blossomfall: Anyways, let's get started!
Thornclaw: Yes, let's.
Blossomfall: SO. I have a theory.
Thornclaw: A theory? That's new. Let's hear it then.
Blossomfall: You know how whenever we killed Millie she would always resurrect?
Thornclaw: You killed Millie!?
Blossomfall: Exactly! So why isn't Bumblestar coming back to life?
Thornclaw: Because he's not an insane psychopath who will stop at nothing to get what he wants.
Blossomfall: Ahem *points Bumblestripe's Insanity*
Thornclaw: Okay you have a point...
Blossomfall: Besides Millie wasn't a psychopath she just has an obsession over Briarlight
Thornclaw: Don't look at me, she's your mom
Blossomfall: Moving on, why doesn't Bumblestar come back to life? Well, I think it's because we kept the body!
*Blossomfall opens an old trunk to reveal the body of a cat, flies swirling around it*
Thornclaw: *gags*
Blossomfall: So maybe, if we destroy the body, he'll come back!
Thornclaw: Whatever you want, honey...
Blossomfall: Great! We're going back to basics >:D
*The two go to a fire-pit, fresh wood sitting in the bottom of it*
Blossomfall: *strikes match* >:)))
Thornclaw: Oh dear...
Blossomfall: Shut up patrol guy *throws the match into the fire-pit*
*Flames burst out of the wood and crackle hungrily*
Blossomfall: Let us feed you my sweeties >:3
Thornclaw: We have kids-
Blossomfall: *Throws Bumblestar's body into the fire* BURN HAHAHA BURN
Thornclaw: You know I've done many things in life but never have I imagined burning a body...
Blossomfall: Oh, this is your first? COME CLOSER!
Thornclaw: ...Should I be worried?
Blossomfall: Yes.
*The body slowly burns away, revealing darkened, charred bones*
Blossomfall: Perfect! Now we just wait
Thornclaw: ...
Thornclaw: ...
Thornclaw: ...
Thornclaw: ...
Thornclaw: ...
Thornclaw: ...
Thornclaw: Nothing is happening.
Blossomfall: What? I was sure this would work!
Thornclaw: Well you're sure about a lot of things, sweetheart-
Blossomfall: tHEN WHY IS MILLIE INVINCIBLE!?!?!? *sobs*
Thornclaw: There, there *pats back supportingly*
Blossomfall: *looking determined* *wipes tears* I WILL FIND A WAY!
Moon here with another episode hope you enjoyedddd <33 p.s. Saturn is a god
YOU ARE READING
21 Ways to Resurrect Your Stupid, Stupid Brother
HumorSEQUEL TO: '101 Ways to Kill a Cat' Follow Blossomfall during this new short special as she attempts to resurrect her brother, Bumblestar. This book was made to celebrate the completion of '101 Ways to Kill a Cat' DISCLAIMER: Please don't do this...
