A Slayer's Forsaken Love

Chapter Six: The Encounter

Chapter 6

        The whole afternoon Buffy was up in her room preparing for the encounter with Deidra. Dawn then entered the room seeing Buffy sharpening stakes. 

"Can I help?" Dawn asked her. Buffy looked at her:

"Sure." Dawn went up to the bed and grabbed a stake and just held onto it. 

"So have you thought about me staying here or do I have to go to Janice's?" Dawn asked. Buffy sighed.

"Look Dawn, I'm sorry. But I can't afford you being here and have something happen to you." Buffy replied. Dawn nodded and went to sharp the stake but soon stopped. "Buffy... you still haven't told me what you've been hiding from us", Dawn said sounding curious. 

        Buffy sighed knowing that she owed Dawn an explanation. But now wasn't the time. At sunset Deidra would be waiting for her at the church so she had to keep her mind set on that. Telling Dawn now about Spike would bring up so much tension and stress on her. 

"I can't now, Dawny. When I get back we will have a nice long talk about it. I promise", Buffy reassured her. Dawn sighed in frustration but you could tell she was worried for Buffy. 

"What if you don't come back?" Dawn asked softly. Buffy stopped sharpening her stake and grabbed onto Dawn's arms.

"Don't think that... ever. Everything will be ok. I will take Deidra out and be home before you know it. I promise", Buffy smiled reassuring her once again.

        But a part of her did have that in mind. What if this was her time to die, again but for good this time? Every slayer no matter how strong or careful they are... sooner or later it always fails. She already died twice. Drowning after The Master fed off her and was brought back by Xander. And the second time when she jumped into that portal, saving Dawn and the world. What if this was her final moment? Buffy kissed Dawn on her forehead before going back to packing her bag. 

"Go to Janice's... please", Buffy begged her. 

        Dawn nodded and left the room to pack her things for Janice's. Once Buffy had her bag packed she changed into her black jeans and her black tank top. Once she was dressed she grabbed her jacket and placed it on top of her bag. Now all she had to do was wait. An hour before sunset Buffy was double checking everything so she could leave. She had everything laid out on her bed, making sure she had enough weapons. She didn't know how the encounter with Deidra was going to turn out. So she wanted to be safe than sorry. 

"Buffy, I don't like the fact that you're going alone", Willow said standing in the doorway. Buffy grabbed her crossbow and loaded it all the way. 

"I won’t be." Looking at Willow she saw the worry leave her eyes but if she only knew what she meant by not being alone.

        It was not the crossbow that would be with her; it would be Spike. She put on her jacket and packed all the items and weapons into her bag before finally leaving the house feeling a bit nervous. As she walked down the street getting closer to the cemetery random thoughts of Spike kept haunting her. Smiling she remembered the night when everyone had kicked her out of her own house and she had to stay in some random family’s home and Spike had showed up. The words that he said to her she will never ever forget:

"When I say, 'I love you', it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the one, Buffy."