The Divide

Chapter 4

I wake to sweaty palms and a pounding in my head. I am back sitting in the plastic chair in the bright white room. Sweat drips down my back. The women in white stands in front of me, analysing my results on a computer. She looks up at me as I wipe my sweaty hands on my dress. Her eyebrows are furrowed - she looks perplexed.

"That," she says, "was confusing. I've never seen anything like it before."

"What do you mean?" I ask, a feeling of dread clouding over me.

"Your results, they're... complex. Normally each stage of the test is meant to rule out a certain District, but in your case, none have been ruled out."

I stare at her, my mind blank and my eyes wide.

"What do you mean?" I try to say, but I can't will my lips to move. It's as if I'm stuck underwater - everything is slow and warbled.

"Let me explain,"

I nod - it's about the only thing I can do right now.

"Typically, the simulation works by isolating one District by ruling out the rest. The choices you made didn't allow any Districts to be isolated, because you didn't rule any out." She pauses to look at me.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Panic flows through my blood instead of oxygen. "This test was supposed to help me choose! How am I meant to do that if you have no idea what I am!?" The knot in my chest is so tight I fear I might stop breathing altogether. I wipe my shaking hands on my dress.

"I know exactly what you are," she replies calmly. "But under no circumstance must you share this information with anyone...not even your family. If people find out what you are, they will kill you."

These words linger in the air like a foul smell. Kill me? I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I need to compose myself. After a few minutes, I open my eyes. There is a sadness in them. I stare straight ahead, blinking back tears that sometimes come.

"People who get this kind of result are...very rare, to say the least. We call this people the Divided."

"So, are you saying- "my monotone voice trails off.

"Yes, Amelia, I am saying that you are one of them."

I get up out of the chair - too quickly. My head spins, she holds my arm to keep me upright. The spinning slows down until everything is steady again and I can see the tiles on the floor. They're white.

"I am going to manually enter your result as District 5, okay?" she says, as she starts typing on her computer. "I don't want to raise any suspicion."

I nod. Everything is a blur. I just want to leave.

"Okay, I'm going to escort you to the Choosing Ceremony now."

I don't even nod this time. What does she expect me to say? It's not as if I have a choice.
She takes me by the arm - her grip is harder than last time. As we walk out the room, I don't look at her. I don't want to see the pitiful look in her brown eyes - it makes me feel weak. Instead, I stare at the floor the whole way there. It's endless lines of white tile.

We finally stop walking. We pause outside the large, circular room where the briefing took place earlier. However, now the benches are gone, and in their place is a huge, white bowl standing on a table in the middle of the room. I stay in the doorway, staring at it. It looks to be the same marble that the doorway is made of. The woman lets go of my arm.

"Don't say I have to drag you over there, too!" she jokes, but I'm in no mood to laugh. Without even looking back at her, I walk over to it. As I get nearer, I notice it's full of water, but I can't even see the bottom of it. The water is dark and inky, like the deepest depths of the ocean. However, it looks smooth and still, so it puts me at ease slightly. I reach out to touch the marble bowl in front of me. It's smooth like silk, and cold, so it calms me down. The knot in my chest doesn't feel so tight anymore. I close my eyes, imagining myself at home, laying in my cold, crisp bed sheets, the sun shining in through the window, illuminating the room in a golden glow.

"You have to climb  in," the woman out from behind me, forcing me back to reality.

"How is that supposed to help me choose?" I ask with an expressionless tone. I don't even turn to face her when I talk, I just stare in the water. Small, silvery wisps swirl around in it - you wouldn't be able to see them at first glance. Perhaps this isn't water at all. Maybe it's meant to trick us like the test is.

"You'd be surprised at what the mind can do," she adds, before I hear the sound of the door shutting behind me.

I take a deep breath, before climbing up onto the table and stepping into the bowl...

The second my skin touches the water, a deep chill comes over me. It isn't like a winter chill, bringing a shiver to my skin, but more like the coolness of an autumn breeze. I take a deep breath, and small bubbles rise to the surface of the water from my lips, looking like tiny specs of dust. The water is so clear I can see the light illuminating my fingertips as I bring my hand out in front of me. I swim further down. There is something about this motion that feels natural after a while; to feel the cool water wash over my skin and through my hair - I wish I could be down here forever. However, the further I swim, the darker and colder it gets. The water now feels frosty on my skin. It is so murky I can barely see what's in front of me. Suddenly, I feel long seaweed dragging across my face. It wraps around my ankles and wrists like rope. I flail madly, trying to free myself, but with every movement, it tightens.

"Choose..." a voice echoes throughout the water, creating small, harsh waves. I take a deep breath to try and calm myself, but water fills up in my lungs. My head is pounding. Every cell in my body is screaming for oxygen. Black spots appear at the edge of my eyes - it feels like I'm falling asleep. The coldness I felt is now completely gone: every part of my body is burning, like a hot wave has washed over me. I sink deeper and deeper into the depths of water. I am drowning. But then I think of my family. I can't be weak. I can be brave. Using all the strength I have left, I pull at my wrists. It stings so much that it feels like someone is burning them with fire. The seaweed snaps suddenly, leaving a stinging feeling travelling down my arms. Despite this, I pull at the seaweed tied around my legs. My fingers fumble. My eyes are so hazy I can barely see what I'm doing. I give one last pull, and my legs come free. I kick back up to the top. Every muscle in my body aches. All I can see above me is a stream of light, cutting down through the water. My vision is so blurry now it just looks like a great expanse of white. My heart rate is so weak I doubt I am even breathing. I reach the surface of the water, but I am blocked by a frozen, opaque mass of ice. I choose District 3, I say, my words coming out as a series of bubbles. I punch the ice with my fist. It breaks through it like glass. I am selfish. But I am brave. I swim up to the surface. My head bursts through the water. And I can breathe.