Chapter 1

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Louis p.o.w

I don't knew how I managed to get home that evning. I was so hurt that I couldn't make sence of how I did it. It hurted so much I didn't understand how I could manage anything anymore. I didn't knew how I was going to live with this pain, because it hurted so so much. I broke down in my bed and that was how Harry found me that night. He found me laying there on the side with my knees pressed to my chest and my eyes was red from all the tears I had cried.

He literally dragged me out of bed and down to the kitchen the next moring. I sat at the tabel with my face planted in my hands. I knew Harry was sitting in front of me. I knew he was looking at me and I knew he was worried, but I just couldn't care because I was only thinking of those two words. Those two words Eleanor had said to me. «It's over.» Two small and simpel words. How could two words like that hurt so much? I don't think I have ever gotten so hurt before by just two words. I couldn't think of any of all those endless moments Eleanor and I had had together. Not the good, not the funny once and neither the sad once. All I could think off was those two words. «It's over.»

Harry stod up from the chair with a sigh. I could see the pain in his eyes, but I didn't met them. He looked tiered. I didn't wish for him to be in pain just because I was.
It must had been a reason Eleanor broke up with me. Maybe I wasn't that good of a person everyone said I was. Maybe I was extremly annoying and maybe people only laughed at my jokes because they thought I was so pathetic.
Harry just stood there and looked at me. I didn't met his eyes, I was too scared. «You can't just sit here and feel sorry for yourself,» he finaly said. I fainally met his eyes. «I don't. I am just seeing the obvios, that I am a pathetic dickhead.» I locked the eyecontact between us, I didn't even blink. I wanted him to admit it, or may I didn't. I didn't really know what I wanted anymore. It feelt like I didn't knew anything anymore, and everything I thought I knew just was a lie. Harry tilted his head to one side and watched me while he looked verry confused. «Pathetic dickhead ? Was that what Eleanor called you ? Did she say you were a pathetic dickhead ?» I looked down at the tabel, sudently I didn't want my eyes to met his any longer. I slowly and carefully shaked my head. «So were do you have it from that you are a pathetic dickhead?», Harry asked me. I mumbled something about that I just knew. The confusion was gone from his face, and it wad replaced with worry. «You know as well as me that that is not true, Lou,» he said. He sounded like a tiered parent that had tried to explain his 5 year old son something really, really simple. «Nobody thinks you are pathetic.» The tears fell down from my eyes. I could not hold it in any longer. I cried until my eyes became red and swolen and there were no more tear left to cry.

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