Waste It On Me

Chapter 3: Proboscis Monkeys

Hello lovely readers! I was trying to be a decent person and get the recommended amount of sleep but then I realized that sleep is for the weak so here I am with another chapter.
•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Jimin's POV

I sprinted to the outdoor part of the university's cafeteria, bursting with excitement about this morning. I approached my squad. Jin and Namjoon were sitting next to each other, holding hands. Jungkook and Taehyung were cuddled up against one another, being disgustingly adorable. Honestly. These guys are gonna give me diabetes some day. And Hoseok sat next to them all, looking like a lonely horse. I sat down next to him.

"Listen up hoes! This thot has some news." I waited for them to stop yapping and pay attention to me. "I met a really hot guy this morning and might have been caught eavesdropping on him playing the piano cuz I tripped over a music stand after hiding behind a tuba. That's not the important thing though cuz the problem is that I don't know his name and I really want to. He's a dick but like a really hot one. He's kinda weird too... Anygays, I want to enlist you guys in the finding of this hot, piano-playing, asshole. What do you say?"

All of them gaped at me like I'd grown three heads or something. Sheesh. Haven't they heard that staring is rude? It's not like I came out as straight or anything.

Hoseok cleared his throat, "Jimin...are you feeling okay? Did you hit your head on something?"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh my god guys. I'm not high, I'm not crazy, and I'm not making this up. There's a new guy here that's really hot and I just wanna know his name. So pleeeaaaaase help me!"

Namjoon perked up. "Wait. Does he have black hair?"

"Yeah..."

"Is he really fucking short like you?"

"Shut up Joonie! But...yeah."

"You said he played the piano?"

"Oh my god Namjoon! Get to the point. Do you know him or not?"

"I think so. He's a senior. Kinda quiet to be honest. I met him in English. I think his name was Min Yoongi? He seemed okay I guess. Want me to invite him to lunch with us tomorrow?"

"Oh my god no. That makes it seem like I want him here. Maybe just play it cool and be like 'Hey bro. My homies and I are pretty sick man. If you want, you can sit with us I guess but we don't really care if you show up. Just bein nice my dude." I made sure to use a manly thug voice to emphasize how uninterested we would be in him showing up. I didn't want him to think that I liked him.

What if he says no though? Ugh. Maybe I should "accidentally" run into him again while I'm polishing tubas in the music room and then mention that my friends and I have a table at lunch if he wants to join but as a fellow dude bro man. That way, he doesn't catch on that I think he's hot.