my sister's boyfriend's bestfriend ⋆ a harry styles fanfiction

02: oh there's a long way to go

Two weeks have passed since my eighteenth birthday and Eleanor's big surprise. Since then, my life has been reduced to a pile of cardboard boxes, which stacked in a Tetris-like fashion in the corner of my room. 

My eyes danced around my now, vacant room. I scanned over the fresh coat of eggshell-white paint which concealed mine and Eleanor's crayon markings that once vandalized the wall. My closet door which had once been plastered with photos and posters looked naked now in comparison. I had almost forgotten what the plain wooden door looked like underneath it all. 

Finally, my eyes met the stack of cardboard boxes which had taken up the corner of my room. 

ELLIE'S PHOTOS. 

ELLIES SUMMER CLOTHES. 

ELLIES DONATION BOX. 

All written in my mom's scratchy handwriting in stark black sharpie. 

It is bewildering to think that my entire life, my entire existence fits into those boxes. 

As I looked around my vacant room, it looked bare. There was no trace of me left. No nail polish stains splattered on the floor, no coffee cup stains along my windowsill from times when I forgot to use a coaster. The room I had lived in my whole life seemed uncomfortably foreign. All that was left to do was to pour some salt and it would be as though I was never here. 

"It looks like you're all packed up" Eleanor said as she leaned on the doorway. 

I looked over at her, not realizing that tears had welled in my eyes. 

"Oh Ellie what's wrong?" She hurried over to me and joined me on the floor. I wrapped myself in my arms like they were ends of a blanket and began to sob. Her freshly manicured hands patted my back softly. 

Why was I even crying? This was my decision to go with her in the first place. It was a good thing, of course it was a good thing. Then I realized, it wasn't sadness I was feeling but fear. I've never lived away from my mom before. I've never known anything but these four walls. London is something new, something scary. I have no idea what's in store for me there. 

"I'm- scared Eleanor" I puffed between breaths. 

At first she didn't say anything, she just nodded, her eyes filled with sympathy. But then, she began speaking, her voice barely above a whisper. 

"I know exactly how you feel Ellie" I looked up at her. 

"This is exactly how I felt when I moved to London with Louis and left you and mum. I had no idea what London would have in store for me. I had no friends, no idea how to take the tube!" She giggled softly. 

"But it was a blank slate. And that's exactly what you're going to get Ellie. A fresh, eggshell white blank slate and you can be whoever you want to be" She smiled and kissed my forehead gently. 

I hadn't thought of it that way. A blank slate. I can't even fathom what that is.

We've lived in the same house our whole lives in the same small town. There was one primary school and one high school. Everyone knew everyone. In London, it'll all be different.  I inhaled deeply, wiping away my salty tears.

"Now who started a crying fest without me?" a voice ripped through the silence. 

We turned around to find mum behind us. 

"Come here!" I sang. 

She put down the boxes in her hands and joined us on the floor. It's always been just the three of us. But mum always knew this day would come. We talked about the crayon marks on the walls, and all the times she heard Eleanor sneaking out of the house. 

"You knew?" Eleanor cried, clutching her belly which was sore from laughing so hard. 

"Of course I knew, your boyfriend didn't even bother turning off his headlights when he picked you up!"

We all laughed, then we all cried. Then laughed again.