She's Gone.

Shawn's POV

I met her on highschool at 8th grade. She was small, humorous, an otaku and also a memer, a type of girl that I liked.

I guess you can say I was a bit shy back then so I had a hard time trying to find a way to talk to her, but luckily I did.

We texted for hours and hours to the point we'd even call, I asked her so many questions to know more about her personality, and let me tell you she was VERY unique.

Time went on and eventually I slowly realized, I had a crush on her.

Though one day, she told me she'd be absent for a few days since she needs to attend on a wedding, I know she'll only be gone for a few days, but damn I missed her so much that time. I didn't realized how much I liked her at that moment.

And then I decided, when she comes back.... I'll confess.

I patiently waited for her in school. I saw her come in the classroom, and everything around me just stopped. I can't take it anymore! I needed to confess within that day!

It may not have been the best confession, but for me it was pure bliss.

We were checking test papers but my classmates were gathering around the board to see the answers, she was in the first row with no people sitting beside her so I normally walked to her and sat down beside her. We were checking papers with comfortable silence when out of the blue I suddenly told her;

"I have a crush on you."

There was a long pause before she spoke.

"Wait really?"

I nodded in embarrassment and just looked down to the ground.

There was a long silence before I saw her writing something in my peripheral vision. She slowly slid the paper to me and it wrote;

"I have a crush on you too...."

The feeling of happiness overwhelmed me to the point I ran around the classroom from joy, I saw her giggling and smiling, her face flushed red. Couldn't this moment be any happier?

We became an MU.

Ever since then we didn't stop texting, calling, saying "I love you", we were happy, so happy. We didn't let anyone get in our way.

God I loved her so much.

But because of one specific event, everything changed.

She's been more distant and cold, I was worried, i'd ask her what's wrong but she'd brush it off saying she's fine. She'd also always talk to his guy friend, I hate to admit it, but.... I'm extremely jealous.

Often when i'm talking to a female friend of mine i'd see her looking at us with a gloomy look, I have a conclusion that she's jealous but I wasn't sure.

We tried to talk things out and it worked, we were back to normal, but it wasn't the same.

We barely have the time to chat, we barely say "I love you" anymore, and we don't even talk personally....

She's been more happy with her guy friend, and I hated it.

She's been more cold, This wasn't the girl I loved.

Slowly we had more arguments, I was always the one who adjusts, we talk things out but it didn't helped fix our argument at all, it would last for days, we wouldn't notice each other like we're just strangers...

I never thought it would have come to this but I hated her, yet I still loved her.

I didn't want to do this but... it's for the best.

I wrote a letter containing all the things I wanted to say, and the one thing I never wanted to happen...

The last day before our sembreak we talked, when I saw her, her eyes were dull... we didn't had much to say... but I gave her the letter, she was confused but took it anyways. I'm so sorry but... it has to be done...

"Read the letter when you get home."

And I left her there dumbfounded.

___________

First day, she didn't replied, I was starting to think she didn't read the letter.

Second day, still no replies... she hasn't been active..

Third day, I tried messaging her but she's still not active...

Fourth. She sent a message, a long one for that matter. It contained everything.

It pains me to know she's been like this, but it was for the best, so I texted;

"I know it's hard that we're not an MU anymore, it's for the best... to end all the pain. So let's start over..."

"Can we be friends?"

She didn't replied for awhile, but I eventually got an answer.

"I guess..."

___________

Sembreak ended and classes resumed. Everything went back to normal, but she wasn't the same.

She wasn't cheerful as she used to be, she didn't smile, her eyes were dull, often when she's happy you can barely see a small smile form on her lips, she's been more distant. She changed.

And one thing that shocked me the most was when I found out she's been cutting herself. Not only that, she attempted suicide but failed to do so.

I'm scared to leave her alone with no one around her, she might do something bad.

And before I knew it......... she's gone.

___________

*St. Louis S.Y 2018 - 2019* Group Chat.

Heaven: Good evening.... this is Heaven's mom. Where is your adviser?

Ms. Mary: I'm the adviser.... is something wrong?

Heaven: I'm sad to inform you that my daughter Heaven won't be going to school anymore...

Ms. Mary: What? Why?

C1: What happened?

C2: Dud i'm worried

C3: I hope she's alright...

Shawn: Did she do something?

Heaven: .......last night we found Heaven's body hanging on the wall with a rope around her neck..... she committed suicide...

Ms. Mary: WHAT? WAS SHE BROUGHT TO THE HOSPITAL?!

Heaven: Yes... but it was too late..

*seen by everyone*

___________

I sat on my computer, stunned.... re reading the message over and over, I slapped myself, making me realize that this wasn't a dream, but is indeed reality...

I slowly leaned on my chair, looking at the ceiling.... letting the voices inside my head consume me... telling me that....

......she's really gone......