There was a girl;
She was alone.
She liked a boy,
Whom she didn't know.
There was a boy,
Also alone.
When the girl asked,
Feelings did grow.
They had their fun—
Smiled and laughed—
They had everything;
It was too much.
He held her hand;
She pulled away.
He asked, "What's wrong?"
She said, "Your touch."
Her feelings drifted,
But his always stayed.
He said, "I love you,"
But got none of the same.
Rumors had spread—
Of things she had said.
His heart filled with dread.
Was their relationship dead?
According to them,
She had moved on,
But he wanted the truth—
From someone he could trust.
So he came to someone
Who confirmed the worst—
Who said that leaving her
Was something he must.
Days had passed;
No words were spoken.
Then she sent a text...
Saying goodbye.
And all of his emotions
Formed words on the screen,
And that was the end—
The end of their lie.
He stayed at home
Feeling alone.
She broke his heart;
He fell apart.
And here I am,
Behind the screen,
Telling his story
From behind the scenes.
Who is the girl?
Who is he?
Who am I?
What does this mean?
The girl is someone
Whom I know well.
Her identity
I'd rather not tell.
The boy is someone
Whom I've only just met,
But he is sweet,
That's all you must know.
I am someone
Who has seen both sides.
Watched them both laugh,
Heard all her lies.
I am the one he came to—
Who told him the truth.
That girl is me...
On the sidelines.
Behind the scenes—
That's where I stay.
I pretend I'm fine;
I pretend I'm okay
I watch them all live—
The boy and the girl—
I watch them and wonder
If I ever will.
Will someone treat me
As he treated her?
Will they hold my hand,
And give me the world?
Will we talk until three—
Until we fall asleep;
And when I wake up,
Will they think of me?
I watch from a distance,
I silently cry;
But nobody cares.
Nobody cares...
But I care a lot,
And this is not fair.
She was ungrateful;
He was always there.
I don't understand
Is this all a sick joke?
These bitches get it all
And give nothing in return.
She had a boy,
And one before that;
And she's got a new one,
And another, and another,
And another, and another,
And another, and another,
And another, and another—
All in a line at her disposal.
Why do these users—
These heartbreakers without hearts,
These unthinking thots—
Get everything?
What did he see in her?
Beautiful, sweet, funny—
All the basic adjectives, only used
when you run out of words to say.
I may not be beautiful;
As far as appearances go,
I'm a six.
I guess he wants a ten.
It's not him that I'm after.
He's just one boy.
There are others,
I know.
But this one is different—
He is genuine, he is kind—
He gives everything...
Just not to me.
I'll forever be just her.
Just that one girl;
Just that weirdo
With the small flute.
Just her while she gets it all.
Girls like her have it twisted;
They never want for anything,
So they never know what they want.
We've all got our issues—
She's got hers;
He's got his;
I've got mine.
The difference between me and her
Is that I don't cover up my issues
With foundation and concealer.
I don't hide them away.
I know who I am
I know what I want
And I know I'm missing something
And now I know what.
You see, before all of this,
I was certain I was fine—
That these feelings I had
Would just... go away...
But they're still here,
Swirling around my head,
Pounding on my skull,
Dying for me to free them.
I've been living by the books;
Doing my homework,
Keeping my head down,
Staying out of trouble.
I've been this way all my life;
While my peers were out,
Locking lips and tangling tongues,
I was alone in my room.
I told myself,
"You don't want that,
You don't want a hand to hold.
Keep your focus on school."
I told myself,
"Boys are gross;
Keep them away."
But why? What for?
I did want that–
I wanted what they had;
I wanted a hand to hold;
Wanted someone to call my own.
And I still do—
Now more than ever.
My time's almost up;
Four years nearly gone.
And I sit and I wonder,
"Why am I not like her?
Why am I here alone,
While she's got it all?"
I want to break free—
Free from my cage of introversion,
Free from the inner sadness I face—
I want to get out of my head.
But how can I when I'm so afraid?
Does he like me?
Am I pretty?
Will he settle for a six over a ten?
Will he say yes if I ask?
Will I ever ask?
How could I ask?
I'm just her.
I'm not pretty enough,
Not smart enough,
Not good enough
To be with a guy like him.
He gave her everything;
He'd never give me the same.
She was so much better—
What am I saying?
She was the lowest form of low;
She treated him like a ghost—
Like he wasn't even in the room,
Like a poison on her skin.
Open your eyes! Open them!
When I told you,
"You can do better,"
I was right there!
Right behind the screen—me;
I will hold your hand;
I will give you everything—
Everything I have to give.
But it's no use thinking about—
You'll never see me that way.
I am just her,
Just a shadow.
Watch me fade away.
