Sept. 24, 2018 Monday
I woke up at 9am. As usual, I went downstairs to wake up my 12-year old son so he can start his school activity. I opened his door and woke up Nicholas. Then I was on going down the stairs to the 2nd floor when I noticed there's still light in my daughter's bedroom. I knocked on her door but it's locked, as usual. I really don't know what came into me. I took the spare key I use to open my son's bedroom and opened my daughter's bedroom.
I wanted to melt. I screamed at the top of my voice. I cried loudly and embraced the lifeless body of my daughter. I cried and rushed outside her room. My son also saw the dead body of my daughter. I run up in my room to wake up Russel. I didn't stop crying and screaming. Then I sat outside her room and I was shooting, telling myself that this is a bad dream. But it wasn't.
My neighbor came up and told is to stay on the first floor. He called the police. Everything seemed blur. I called my mom, crying and screaming. I told my mom to come here in the Philippines because I need her. I told her that I can't go through this on my own. My partner Russel called my brother Joms and my daughter's father. I called one of my friends who lives nearly. My call was mostly crying and screaming.
My brother and sister-in-law came. My friend Vergel came. I cried and held them real tight as soon as I saw them. Vergel called my bestfriend Doreen. I was like a candle melting. My world stopped. I don't even know what to think next.
My friends helped me out, making phone calls here and there. My brother and Lori talked to my mom and they will pay for her flight ticket from US to here.
This is a nightmare. This isn't happening to my life. NO!!
But then, it's for real.
Police investigators asked me questions.
They have my daughter's phone to my brother after reading the messages.
I didn't know what to do.
Confused.
Screaming.
Crying.
My friends Doreen and Vergel held me tight when the medico-legal team brought down my daughter....in a body bag.
That moment....
I felt like this is also the end of my life.
I felt like dying, too.
I felt like there's no more tomorrow for me.
Dead end.
This is a nightmare.
I can't believe this is happening.
I hugged the body bag real tight, feeling my daughter's body.
My friends pulled me up.
My baby, is gone.
I can't think of whatvto do next.
My friends helped me out with everything.
My brother and sister-in-law offered their house to us. I didn't want to live in our house anymore. I can't.
That night, my son Nicholas, Russel and Sofia packed our things and we stayed in my brother's house. Russel's sister and her daughter stayed in our house. They said, they'll be fine. After 2 days, the also moved in with us in my brother's house.
I can't sleep.
I don't even know what to do next.
My baby Mika is gone.
That's all I know.
But I have so many questions.
Questions that will remain unanswered.
If you would ask me, if I'm mad at God?
Yes and No
But I would like God to turn back time.
Turn back to where I still have my Mika.
Turn back when everything was still okay.
Turn back when she was still with
us.
Lord, help me.
A weeping mother is begging you to turn back time.
I want answers from God.
Why didn't he give my daughters a second chance to live?
I lost my daughter.
I lost my life, too.
Many people told me to be strong for my other two kids.
If you are a mother, can you even imagine living a life without one of your children?
