Anxiety

I sat there in my seat, only half listening to the other people present. I had been thinking about this for a week, but it never seemed as bad as it did at this very moment. My heart rate was slightly faster than normal, and other than the thought of my presentation being soon, everything was going pretty good.

It got closer and closer. With each passing minute, my heart rate would speed up. I was next. My hands started shaking and my palms grew clammy. A nauseating feeling grew in my stomach to the point that if I opened my mouth, I thought, I would throw up. Not that there would be anything to throw up. I was so nervous for this from the moment I woke up, that I couldn't eat breakfast. My brain, as well as vision, grew fuzzy and breathing seemed practically impossible.

"Sarah." Oh no. I can't possibly go up there now, like this. Let me wait, let me skip it, anything! Oh God, please oh please let this go well. I got out of my seat and walked to the front of the classroom, my hands acting as if an earthquake was happening in my body.

"M...my name is Sarah, and I did my presemation..." Oh gosh, that wasn't right. Crap! I clear my throat and proceed. "Presentation on Selenium."

I carried out the presentation, my voice shaking the entire time. I held a pen in my hand and clicked the cap on and off, on and off, over and over, till the presentation was over, just to keep me from totally falling apart.

I unconsciously start talking faster and faster, in an attempt to make this go quicker. Breathe, I told myself. Relax, talk slower, you got this. The self pep-talk sort of works. I finish the presentation and take my seat, my face quickly flushing.

It's okay, you're done. You can relax now. After a few minutes, my breathing returns to normal, I no longer feel light headed, although my legs feel weak and my hands are still slightly shaking. But I'm done. I pray to God to not have to do that again for a very long time.

Thank you for reading this, anxiety is something I am constantly dealing with, and this is an experience I recently had with it. For everybody out there who deals with anxiety, and you needs someone to talk to, feel free to message me whenever, and I can be there for you.