Always |∞[Yixing] | ✔

Always

It had been a hard day... No, a hard week— wait, maybe month?

Years, actually. It had been hard ever since the beginning, hard years of training to get to where he is now, and yet they still treat him like... Like this.

Maybe he did something wrong in his past life? But then he wouldn't have all the good things he has now, right?

He has money, the very thing humans would tear at each other's throats for. Despite this, he's not blinded by greed and remains humble, thankful for everyone who helped him get this far. If he did make a mistake in his past life, it probably wasn't so bad since he has everything anyone could ever ask for, but the internal suffering must definitely be a punishment for something.

For what exactly, he doesn't know. He has been nothing but kind to the world: he takes care of everyone around him and puts them first, and he doesn't have time to worry about himself because he's always trying to please everyone. He feels like he should've known, should've been aware of what he was getting himself into.

He had no idea it would be this difficult.

It wasn't at first, since he was doing what he loves—he still is—but it just isn't the same anymore. He's lonely, the people he wants around him the most aren't there. They try to keep contact, they really do, but with their terribly busy schedules and barely existing free time, it's gotten nearly impossible. They're always too exhausted and prefer to use their free time to catch up on some much-needed sleep.

This really wasn't what he signed up for anymore; it felt like he made a pact with Satan himself.

He was supposed to be happy, but things had gotten out of his control.

Happiness.

That's something he hasn't felt in a long time, and the constant smile on his face was starting to falter. He felt... empty, hollow, like a shell.

Zhang Yixing misses his brothers.

He knows they've lost 3 along the way and that it'll scar them all if he leaves too. It would be selfish to leave, wouldn't it? But it felt as if he already did, his solo activities far outnumbering the group activities. A contract was the only thing holding them together.

It really was a deal with the devil.

And so he stays, for their sake. And maybe even his own, too. If he were to officially leave, his brothers would probably never forgive him.

It's stressful when you have so many people counting on you, hoping you won't let them down, looking up to you and encouraging you; you don't want to fail them.

Mistakes, especially, are not allowed.

It's too fucking difficult to please the entire world. He wants his happiness back, but he doesn't want to take everyone else's away... Because that's the price he'll have to pay.