Innocence. (GirlxGirl)

One.

Blue's POV.

''The water bubbles in every direction as I float gently above. That's until the storm comes. The tide pulls me further out as a wave crashes against my face causing my lungs to fill with the salty solution. I'm gulping air down as fast as I can but not fast enough, not as fast as the waves around me. Under I go. Flopping like a fish but unable to swim. Images flip through my mind until I let myself go. I deeply inhale the flavoured current expanding my lungs with nothing but the cool liquid until the soft beating of my tiny heart comes to rest. I begin to gently float above again. My mouth now tastes like salt. Probably from my poisoned mind filled to the brim with sickening thoughts.''

Fuck.

The same dream entices me into its net every fucking night. I'm woken by my mother standing over me,a worried look on her face. My eyes unscrew as the constant nightmare fades.

'Mum, I can deal with it now' i moan as she stares right at me not caring about my remark.

'Blue this has been going on for too long now!'

She was right, it had been going on for just under three months. Every night without fail i would dream of myself drowning and then wake up screaming with my mother at my side. It wasn't my fault, i didn't know how to just not dream of it... Dreams don't work like that. It seemed the only answer every fucking psychologist my mum had forced me to see was that i was having some 'Self hate issues'. I mean i didn't particularly like myself but i wasn't going to bloody drown myself because of it. 

'Mum... Its going to be okay'

It's funny that. I wake up screaming in fear of dream death and then i sit up for the next hour comforting my fragile mother. She's just scared one day she'll wake up and i wont, which is basically bollocks but my mother likes to read into shit a bit too much

-

Seven AM soon came about, my alarm ringing in my ear as i struggled to move from under my duvet.  Monday was never a good day. The smell of bacon finally enticed me out of my blanket fort as i marched downstairs in nothing but an oversized shirt. That was the great thing about it being just me and mum, wear what you want when you want.

Shoving bacon down my throat, I grabbed my old rolling stones shirt from the clothes horse and bolted back upstairs to ready myself for college. College was different from school in a Good way, i mean i only had to go in three days a week but the work was harder and the students were gross. Pulling black thong up my pale legs, i sieved through my neat-ish drawers for my favourite black bra to match. Matching underwear is something i strived for in life, if it matched i was going to have a decent day. My laced bra happened to be in my bed along with everything else i feel like i can wear more than once in the week. After i had it on i stood in front on my full length mirror. I wasn't skinny that's for sure but i didn't think i was massive either. I was kind of the average weight for a girl of sicteen and a bit. My boobs were a great size i wasn't going to complain about God giving me these babies but the rest of me could do with a bit of a redesign.

Ten minutes later i had my shirt on with a pair of black skinnys to compliment my ' i don't give a fuck look'. My hair was in a high ponytail and black makeup smudged along the top of my eyelid and made my eyelashes stand on ends. A touch of red lipstick later i was set for my day.. i guess.

' Laters Mum!' I yelled from the front of the house before slamming our door shut. headphones in place i could block out the shitty excuse for a planet as i travelled my long as fuck five minutes down the road. Hitting play, the familiar Marina and the diamonds tune blared through my eardrums. As the beat bounced i strolled in time, letting my head bop along. Marina wasn't my usual choice in tunes but this song was epic and had to be played in my morning.