a flower that withered too soon.

i didn't know what drove me like this. i didn't know why my feet run this quickly. i didn't know why my mind was full of her. i didn't know why my heart beat so fast. i didn't know, i didn't know--

--but when that gondola 29 blowed up, i knew that my life would never be same anymore.

i ran. i ran, so i could catch her.

i felt my world crumbled in front of my own two eyes. their saying in my earphone couldn't be heard anymore--more like i chose to not listen to it; ('what was that?!', 'dazai, are you there?!', 'somebody respond to this please!', 'fuck, it's the ferries wheel!', 'somebody there?', 'dazai-san is!')

i caught her then embraced her quickly. her favorite hat was nowhere to be found, her clothes was torn here and there, her blood was everywhere; i was afraid.

i recalled again her last saying before the gondola blowed up in the next seconds.

['dazai, you received my email, right? you don't have to reply it. i just wanted to confess my feeling.']

['go out, chuuya! we can guess it but not when you are there! go out or just cut the string!]

['no, i don't want to go out and this bomb will trigger other bombs in this amusement park if i cut the string. i know what i'm doing. just listen to me when the letter appears. you have to go to the next location to stop the bomb.']

['chuuya, please--']

['h.']

['listen to me!']

['o.']

['it's hotel, right?! go out now!]

then, the next thing i knew, i was late to save her.

the sound on my earphone made my head spun, so i took my earphone off. i didn't want to hear their voice, i just wanted to hear hers.

she breathed slowly--so slowly that if i didn't catch it, i would thought that she was dead. but she couldn't hold for so long, i knew she would died in the next minutes if i didn't do anything.

while i was in panic, i suddenly remembered something.

i searched for that slice of paper in my pocket; the paper that would change everything.

and i wrote:

['please make her forget all about this. please make me be able to see her smile again. i will sacrifice everything, even if it's my life.']

i waited.

i waited for a minute and nothing happened.

far behind me, i could hear the sound of gun and people's scream. i didn't want them to caught me and her, thus i carried her to my car.

we went far, far away, from this city.

i didn't know where we were at anymore. i just stopped when the gasoline runoff. we were in the middle of city i never knew. i didn't even know if this city was at the map or not.

i was miserable. the girl in the back seat didn't even wake up, what should i do ....

i never tried that book, if the book was real, shouldn't chuuya wake--

'eh?'

i heard some sounds from my back.

i never spun my head that fast before.

'who are you? where am i?'

she woke up.

and didn't remember anything.

'ano ... sir, i don't know why you are crying right now, but, can i get a bandage or something? looks like i wounded so bad.'

i was relieved.

the time that i thought would stop, it didn't.

•••

(c)kleekurii

#soukoku #太中