Perspective: A True Understanding of The Relative Unimportance of Life.

    Little things in life can make the biggest differences. Take for instance toilet paper, it's such an overlooked creature comfort that makes the world of difference in our daily lives. You tend to forget how the lack of a nice roll of toilet paper can ruin your day.  You go to a public bathroom, or even a private hotel bathroom, and the razor thin, cheap, 120 grit, toilet paper, that if you are lucky it doesn't break square by square as you attempt to pull it off the roll. The best publicly offered toilet paper will undoubtably leave you feeling not so fresh.  You probably will spend a few moments thinking about the uncomfortable bathroom experience, dwelling on all the negative aspects of how this simple object failed to meet your expectations, and ruined your movement, I mean, moment.  But now, for the sake of the argument I am going to try and make, please Imagine for a moment a world without any toilet paper.  And sure, beyond the initial first inclinations of never shaking anyones hand ever again, and probably never wanting to eat food prepared by someone else. Generally, It is likely everyone would be, well, more "irritated" about their daily lives.   

     Thankfully we have toilet paper, and if you care about your "Brown eye'd girl", you can spend a couple extra dollars and enjoy some great paper, flushable wipes, or if you are adventurous, a bidet. But even if you can't afford it, or you keep forgetting to pack some good paper with you when you travel, if you just consider for a moment the alternative of no paper over the "shitty" paper you always encounter, you will feel better, if even slightly, about having some sub-par paper over none. 

    Perspective is the worlds great equalizer. And like the example above, it is easy to gain perspective when you take a moment and think about the alternative to the negative emotions you have about any particular circumstance. Yet somehow when we are feeling upset about our personal circumstances it is very difficult to break the ruminative thought process by simply employing this valuable tool.  There are many proverbs that are meant to remind us to not take ourselves so seriously. My favorite is, "I complained about not having shoes, until I saw a man with out feet." 

 I was waiting for a couple of carry out pizza's one Halloween, and after them being more than an hour later than their promised time, I complained.  Well, complained is probably an understatement of how I reacted. Like I said, it was Halloween, and I am not telling you this as an excuse, but to better describe the atmosphere. It was Halloween, my six your old son had invited a bunch of friends for dinner before they left to terrorize the neighborhood.  My wife had ordered the pizza's several days in advance asking them to be available at 5pm. By 6pm I had lost my shit and began to dress down the owner of this small pizza parlor by my house.  I had definitely made a scene. And though I felt justified to complain, I'm certain, my reaction was over the top.  A neighbor that I recognized only from her walking her dogs past my house a few times a week, looked at me and matter of factly said, "People are dying of cancer."   And...Drop the mic.

     How you see the world will impact how you interact with it. Many times people boil it down to asking if are you a glass half full or half empty type of person, but it's not that simple.  The glass isn't always sitting right in front of you to view and if it were, it is never shaped like a graduated cylinder, but more like a lake, where the shoreline is obscure and the bottom is neither flat or  visible. Today as I write this essay it's cold, rainy, dark, damp, and with no end to the current weather in sight: depressing.  Many people find bad weather depressing, and a string of days without sunshine can be down right awful.  But if we employ our tools of perspective, you can almost always find reasons to be happier about the situation. For Instance, my house is warm and dry. I don't have any roof leaks, I own an umbrella, and my dogs thankfully take care of their business off leash while I stand at the open door.  

     For many people that struggle with "finding perspective" in the little things, they report loneliness as being a major factor in their unhappiness. And when I say "little things" please do not think I am diminishing how big they can feel and how real they impact someone. I just know that they are truly "little things" as compared to the many more serious situations that could be a factor in your life at any given moment.  I have spoken with many people who have been diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression, and in almost every situation, they complain of loneliness among their top five chief complaints.  Even those that are in committed relationships feel this lack of a deeper connection to others. Sometimes it is a side effect of one's medication which can cause depersonalization symptoms. It is a phenomena where someones thoughts and feelings seem unreal or not belong to oneself, or in which someone looses all  sense of identity. Life just seems to be happening around them without a conscience of time and place.  It is similar to the feeling you get when you drive somewhere very familiar and after arriving you really do not remember any of the ride there. It can be very unnerving if you really think about it.