A/n hehehenehehe...smirks. I'm awesome. Show me da love. R&R.
Bella POV (classssic).
Finally. We're in the throne room and I'm on my iPhone. Jake is texting me.
Hey Bells, did you kick vampire ass?-Jacob
Jake I can't, they're asses are marble.-bella
Take a hammer.-Jacob the mutt
At this I laugh aloud and Alice leaps over and reads it over my shoulder.
"That wouldn't work." She sniffs. I giggle.
"Are you upset he's right? Omg. I'm telling. Your soooo dead." She grabs my phone and dances away. Edward and the kings are still talking. I run after her and she evades me easily.
"I'll get Paul to bite your ass, forget the hammer." Her eyes widen and she looks into her future. She gasps and throws me the opine which i catch in ease. It rings the caller ID saying Mutt.
"Hey Jacob. Do you ever call Leah a bitch?" I ask when he comes on. He laughs.
"Oh god. I'll have to use that. How's it going? Did they kill him?" He asks like a child in Christmas.
"I wish they killed him. Nope. He's still talking and walking. Shame." He guffaws in the phone. Alice is giggling.
"Jakey you love me right?" I ask an idea forming in my head.
"Of course!" He says quickly.
"Perfect! Now I'm pitting you in the phone with a very, kind considerate leech. You must be very rude and hurtful. Tell them you are a mutt and rub it in." He groans.
"I hate you." He says. Alice is laughing on the floor.
"Caius or Jane?" I ask Alice.
"Totally Jane." She says. Janes eyes snap to us. Alice and I go up to her and hand her my phone. She looks at it in confusion. Then she must hear Jake because she presses it to her ear.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY? I AM JANE VOLTURI I WILL NIT BE SPIKEN TK IN THIS MANNER!" She screams and all eyes are on her. Me and Alice are in pieces laughing our asses off.
"HOW DARE YOU? OF COURSE I AM SMART IM ON THE GUARD!" She screams. Alice would black out from laughing gothic hard f she was human.
"THAT IS NOT A BIRTH CONTROL PILL!" Everyone loses it and bursts into laughter. She hands me the phone and runs out.
"Dog. That was priceless. Oscar worthy. Alice worthy. That is serious shit. I'm pretty sure she's torturing someone now." I say between giggles.
"Bella, that was the most fun I had in a while." He says. "Here's Paul."
"Hey Bella, can I do that?" He whines like a baby. I smile.
"Let's see...I'd do Caius but he'd go crazy. Aro won't understand anything, I doubt Marcus hears a thing...you know what, later. I promise you will get a turn with Jane, I think she liked you." I hang up and me and Alice lose it again.
"Did you make my sister upset?" Alec hisses. I look up at him.
"Guilty as charged but not sorry." I say. He grins and holds out a hand. I stare at it.
"If you use your powers on me....I'll light your fingers in fire." I say. He chuckles and pulls me up.
YOU ARE READING
Mission impossible
VampireCharlie is dead. (You Charlie is dead. (You will find out how and why later) Bella goes to save Eddie pooh. Alice sees a vision and makes Bella stay. She has someone catering to her every whim. She doesn't know it and as emotions hit a high everyth...
