What She Said

Chapter One

A/n-here's the first chapter of WSS! I would absolutely love to hear what ever you have to say about this story. Good or bad, I want to hear it! Thank you x

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Feet apart. No, more apart. Left foot closer to the ball. Loosen the right hand, but keep the left arm straight. Head still. Focus on the ball.

Thwack! I only hit grass.

"Dammit." I mutter under my breath as I set myself up again. This time, I squat deeper and shift my weight much more dramatically. Thwack! This time the golf ball sails through the air and lands in a patch of tall grass on the side of a hill. I know there is no way I'll be able to get it. There's not much light at five in the morning. Once upon a time I would be worried about disturbing the neighbors' Saturday slumber, but I no longer care.

It was one of the many nights in which I woke up in Teddy's embrace. I could feel his invisible arms around me. I could feel his usual tears that would fall when he thought I was asleep.

But Teddy is gone.

I would never wake up in his arms again for real. I am plagued by grief-induced hallucinations. We can no longer see each other. Teddy is gone. I am gone too.

Golf is the only thing that clears my mind now. Hitting that tiny white ball requires focus, and focus requires a wiped mind. No issues, no distractions, no absent ex-lovers. Five in the morning is a splendid time for focusing. Few cars are going in and out of the neighborhood. No one's up. It's perfect.

I position my body again. I bring the club down, twisting my hips in an attempt to gain fluidity. I fail. This time I am unable to hold back my frustration, and I let out a long, loud groan. Giving up, I place my driver back into the golf bag and abandon it in the pristine yet unfamiliar backyard.

I don't know what to do with myself. I used to never feel useless, but now it is practically a personality trait.

"You should go exploring." An adventurous hidden piece of my mind probes. "This is a dream come true for you. You're practically unsupervised in a new town in the middle of nowhere. Why aren't you exploring?"

That used to be a dream of mine. Without Teddy, it feels like a lie.

"Stop sulking and go explore. Go!" For some reason, I listen to my subconscious this time. I allow it dress me, get in my car, and even swipe on some coral lipstick I find in the glove compartment. I feel empowered. I feel fake.

I drive onto the main road where there are numerous bars, a seedy pawnshop, a grocery store, and a thrift shop. A small corner cafe catches my eye, and I park rather messily in front of it. The exterior is cute, all potted plants, French-Bistro style chairs and tables, and string lights.

The interior has the same humble femininity as the outside, which is probably why the young man wiping down the white paneled counter looks so out of place. "He's attractive," my adventurous subconscious says, "and probably about your age. You should get his number."

But Teddy...

"Can I get anything for you?" The man says in a surprisingly chipper tone. I panic, and for the first time in my life, I don't order black coffee.

"A latte, please. Peppermint, if it's available." Teddy's favorite.

"Hmm. We don't usually have peppermint lattes in summer, but I'll see what I can do."

I smile weakly, unsure if he's flirting or not. I hope he isn't. If he is, I won't be able to help but succumb to his charm.

A couple minutes later, the man hands me a mug and I seat myself at a table near a large window. I take a sip of my drink, but nearly spit it up. I don't know how Teddy drank this. I gulp the rest of it down anyway.

"Do you want a refill?" The man is now standing next to my table, yet again catching me off guard.

"Uh, I'll take black coffee this time. Please." He nods and leaves the table, only to return seconds later with another mug and a pot of coffee. I expect him to fill my cup and leave, but instead he sits down.

"You strike me as the sort of girl who would drink a whole pot of coffee."

"Your assumptions are right."

"You aren't from here, huh?"

"No, I'm just staying with a friend for the summer. I needed to get away for a bit."

"I'm Collin. I've lived here my whole life. I think that qualifies me to say Charlotte's Landing is boring as hell, but I have a feeling that you'll make this summer not so boring."

"How do you know? I could be as boring as 'The Old Man and the Sea'."

Collin leans forward in his chair so that his face is a mere 4 inches away from mine. "Ah, but 'The Old Man and the Sea' just happens to be my favorite book."

"That only suggests that you are a boring person."

"I couldn't be boring if I tried." He fills the clean mug with coffee and sips it almost sensually.

"How vague of you."

"What's your name?"

I pause. My mind is racing. I can reinvent myself here. I don't have to be Copper the popular girl at school or Cleo with the lost boyfriend. I can change here.

"Isis. My name's Isis."

"See? I knew you were exciting. How many people do you know named Isis? I only know one as of now."

"I only know one Collin as of now."

"You know what, Isis?"

"What."

"We should go on a date."

"Why?"

"Because you are an honest to God enigma, and I've been waiting for an enigma as unique as you to walk into this cafe."

Oh no. My heart is breaking over and over again. I feel guilty and angry and lonely all at once. I need someone. I need some to let in. "Forgive me, Teddy." I whisper to myself.

Then I take a deep breath, a sip of coffee, and say, "Okay."